Posts Tagged ‘Stripper Humor’

Flynt, Francis Want $5 Billion Porn Bailout

Thursday, January 8th, 2009

I wonder if I qualify for any of this:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28545081/

Hustler’s Larry Flynt and “Girls Gone Wild’s” Joe Francis say it’s the adult entertainment industry’s turn for a bailout, TMZ reported.

The economy has hurt their businesses, too, Flynt and Francis said — sales of XXX DVDs are down 22 percent — and they want $5 billion from the government.

Congress must “rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America,” Flynt said.

So get ready to party, wild girls. Francis plans to bring the request to D.C. in person.

Flying by the seat of my gstring…

Sunday, March 30th, 2008

 

10PM Update: I love Southwest Airlines. I was able to roll my existing flight to my May trip for no extra cost, no change fee, no service charge. That’s the way it should be!

For my friend Got2 who enjoys the silly strip club quotes:

45yo heavyset White Trash lady: (wagging folded Washington at my stage) Muh husband wants to watch meee put mah face in yur tits (leaning forward and placing folded Washington in her mouth)
Avalon: (briskly plucking the
Washington
from 45yo heavyset White Trash lady’s mouth with my hand) Thanks! Maybe later! (turning to NegativeSteve whispering not!)
….2 hours later… 40yo White Trash Lady wildly waving her arms to flag me down….
KahunaKid: (grabbing my arm and leading me to another table) You’re Welcome

Types of Customers

Thursday, February 7th, 2008

This comes from my friend Bob.  I’m too busy to pen a thought provoking post today.  The tax man cometh!

The Rookie: Fresh fish…will blush if you talk to him and most definitely will have a chubbie for the entire time he is in the club. He’ll prolly jump out of his skin if you put your hand on his shoulder, and will positively explode if you give him a grind-y dance of any kind. He likely only has about $30 on him ($40 out of the ATM minus the $10 cover), so don’t be surprised if he asks how much it costs or has to go to the ATM in the club. He’ll have no fucking clue what VIP is, so don’t be shocked if he gives some sports reference. Beware, they can turn into the Puppy very easily

Getting my Sleep Cycle Ready

Sunday, January 20th, 2008

I had a fit of insomnia last night.  This doesn’t happen to me very often, so I took a nap after I taught Spin Class this morning.  It’s getting me prepared for the day/night reversal my body endures each and every Vegas trip.  I’d just be getting up around now anyway.

Figures the day I have to travel and be away from my computer is the day the stock market hits Armageddon.  The Arizona newspaper is sooo on top of business news like this.  The lead article in the business section as of 2pm  is “Hickman egg farm puts $20 million into upgrades” 

The Weirdest Thing That Ever Happened to Me in a Strip Club

Wednesday, December 26th, 2007

So it’s been pretty slow over the holiday season.  I went in early yesterday to hang out with Joel.  He lives in Texas, but is visiting his mom for the holidays.  After an early round of golf, he didn’t have much else to do at his mom’s house.  Joel is one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met in a strip club.  Like Diego, Blaze, Kelly-n-Bill, Doug, RetroCellPhoneGuy, these types are few and far between.

Unfortunately, because they are soooo nice and normal,  they don’t give me any juicy strip club I-couldn’t-make-it-up-if-I-tried stories to tell.

Saturday Stripper Humor

Saturday, October 6th, 2007

Enough of my insightful, through provoking posts.

Some of the sentences I never thought come out of my mouth until I was a stripper:

“Would you like to buy me while I’m on sale?”

“No more money, no more Avalon!  Bye bye.”

“Thats ok, you can charge me on your credit card!”

“Should I take my top off and wiggle for you now?”

“You need a blonde on your lap, don’t you?”

“I’m really a brunette on the inside!”

“Are you the breast man, the leg man, or the ass man?”


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