I posed this question today on Twitter:

Is going to the strip club considered cheating in your relationship?

I had to add that last part.  There is no right or wrong answer to this question, because every relationship is based upon different mutually acceptable agreements.

I have customers ask me from time to time, “I don’t think I’m cheating on her by being here…do you?”

My response is always, “Whose opinion matters more to you, mine or your wife’s?”

In my marriage, me going to the strip club is not cheating.  I don’t go to the strip club with the intention of flirting with other men for attention or affection.  If my spouse goes to the strip club, has a few beers, and gets a few dances, I don’t consider that cheating either….but I do get peeved when the tab starts creeping above a certain dollar figure.

Nevertheless, even though it’s not “cheating”…I would be lying if I said that being a stripper didn’t have an effect on my marriage.  That is a pretty loose statement on purpose.  Lots of things can have an effect on relationships: having children, not having children, addiction, rehabilitation, accidents, illnesses, promotions, job losses, gambling, conflict management, abuse, etc.

I’d love to hear your thoughts….

I didn’t even realize it….but today marks TWO YEARS of Blogging.  My very first post was on 4/8/07 entitled I’m a Bad Girl with Good Morals!

Myspace unfortunately has axed my oldest posts.  Good thing it is archived at our new location www.stripandgrowrich.com/blog

So when she texted me that her flight got in at 9pm from the upper Midwest where she had a booking last week, I immediately told her to high tale it to Treasures to help me entertain The Whale’s group.  So she literally got off the plane, Stripperfied herself, clocked in by 11:30, and was just in time!  The group really ended up only being two guys….and it was hilarious how the vultures were swarming around them when Jacko escorted them from the front door straight to VIP.

This is a prime example of how Social Capital can make or break your night.  I wasn’t sure how many people The Whale was bringing to Treasures.  He didn’t know either until the business dinner was finished.  Nevertheless, Jacko and I were preparing the list before his arrival: me, Jessica Rabbit, Mackenzie, and then Jacko named a few girls I didn’t know….but obviously enough social capital to make his list.  It was a bit disappointing to the list of girls when “the party” turned out to only be two guys, each of whom were already “taken” by Jessica Rabbit and I.

At our SuperStripper Luncheon Summit this afternoon, we were discussing social capital.  I firmly believe that in Vegas you have to play defense in this economy.  Whenever I sell a 3 for $100 I tip the host $10-$20, even though he didn’t do anything.  I admit that it is frustrating to tip out when I find the guy, I close the sale, and I collect my own money….but the VIP host remembers who tips well.  It reaches even further than hoping to get on “their list” of girls that they introduce to high dollar clients.  As I mentioned in February: they can, will, and do send non-list girls on wild goose chases.

And to commemorate our fun, profitable SuperStripper Evening:

The drive to Vegas was hot and sunny. I learned a long time ago that long road trips with the convertible top down REALLY tires me out. The drive took 6 hours this time due to the tourist traffic across Hoover Dam. I hope that bridge is completed soon. Took a quick nap and clocked in at Treasures at 7:30 pm. I paid the offstage fee since I walked in the door with a 5 hour deal already closed.

The Whale was waiting.

I got some funny looks from the girls in the locker room as I put on my long cherry red Jessica Rabbit gown. I love that tight stretchy red dress with thigh high slits up the side….I haven’t worn it since I left Christie’s. Despite it’s opulent decor, Treasures is not a gown club…and I would have been very overdressed if I was just working the floor.

I found him by center stage. “You know what…I’ve never seen you dance onstage.” he said to me.

“Oh I suck, you’re not missing much.” I responded.

Makenzie egged me on too, “Yeah…you’re really not, you just walk back and forth.”

We chatted with Makenzie on the main floor for a bit and invited her to eat dinner with us at the Treasures Steakhouse. I was starving, since two Muscle Milk Lite shakes and a Zone bar was all I had eaten. That first glass of white zinfandel went right to my head! The Surf and Turf was excellent, I love lobster and filet!! I was very impressed with the food and the service in The Steakhouse. The Whale was too, and is going to bring his clients there in May instead of Capital Grille. It was a very mellow and relaxed evening, unlike the typical shift in Vegas. We went straight from the steakhouse to the balcony next to the main stage.

He had early meetings, and cut out around 1. The club was filling up with March Madness Fans. I only brought my long Jessica Rabbit gown, and had already made double my average nightly Vegas goal so I decided to call it a night and cash out.

“Wow you had a good night!” the girl in front of me in line at the cage said as she eyed my stack of $100 Treasure Bills “I’m just getting here…is it that good tonite?”

“No, I just had a regular customer who I’ve known for about a year. He tells me when he’s coming and we hang out” I responded.

“Yeah, until you won’t sleep with him….I can never keep someone longer than twice.” she huffed.

“Well, they are few and far between…but some guys really just want genuine attention and a few hours of entertainment where they don’t have to think about the real world” I responded.

I got in my car at 1 am. Daisy Delfina texted me that she was just heading into work at Sapphires. I wished her luck, went back to my room and caught up on some much needed sleep.

It’s FREEZING cold here today. Guess I missed my chance to sit at the pool.

More women going from jobless to topless is the latest mainstream press article about dancing

1. As humans, we make life choices that harmonize with our beliefs.  We unconsciously choose to put ourselves in situations and associate with people that fit our preconceptions.  We avoid people and situations that might weaken or challenge what we believe to be true.

2. We practice selective attention or inattention depending on the circumstance.  Our minds tune into phenomena that confirm our beliefs while ignoring, avoiding, deleting, or violently reacting to anything that could weaken that belief.  We selectively remember events that support what we want to believe is true and selectively forget events that show us otherwise.

3. We automatically distort, mold, or exaggerate evidence to reasonable fit our beliefs.

4. As a last ditch effort, we may also rationalize contradictory evidence to uphold a belief.  Often this involves misinterpreting someone’s motives, and/or convincing yourself of a motive that really isn’t there.

Buy it for $7.94

I’m totally digging all this psychological mumbo-jumbo as I create the all new DancerWise program.

1. I gave a dance to a very nice older lady last night.  “That’s it?” she asked when I finished my lame airdance.  “Uh…yep twenty please.”  Apparently she was a Bible-Humper, and held the belief that strip clubs were dens of sin and prostitution.   Kudos to her for challenging her belief.  It’s a good thing she picked Babe’s in Scottsdale and not Mitchell Brother’s in San Francisco to confirm/deny her preconcieved belief.

2. My good friend just got her heart ripped out by some douchebag.  Although they hadn’t been dating long, she only paid attention to the good things about him, and ignored the situations where his true intentions began to show.

3. Strip clubs are a fantasy land.  Most patrons can distinguish between the reality of paying $20 for a few minutes of topless entertainment.  Others will exaggerate an entertainers weekly follow up sales call into something else.

4. Refer back to number 2

The evening began when I stepped on the floor. I saw a round faced older gentleman sitting alone and made him my first target. However the young couple next to him flagged me down first. “Dance for her,” the mid twentyish kid said while handing me a twenty. She was about 5 foot 1 and a size 0. Usually petite women look for other petite women, but she sat back in the chair, and said “I always wanted to be tall and curvy!” We always want what we don’t have. She kept nervously tapping her foot the whole time, but laid back and just enjoyed the sensation of hair and warm skin.

Then I danced for the guy. “I’ll give you two hundred bucks if you want to come out with us tonight.” he says about 3 seconds into the table dance. I didn’t even bother responding, I just turned around and gave him the rear view. “OK, three hundred” he upped his offer. I smiled and shook my head. “Three fifty! Four hundred” I still hadn’t said a word. “OK, I’m totally rollin’can you tell?” He asks.

“Yep” I got called to stage. The older gentleman who was original target stood up, walked over to the stage and tipped me. “Are you free after your stage?” he asks. Of course I am!

Unlike normal Friday nights that don’t get started until the 10pm crowd, there was a steady stream of customers from 8pm until close. There was also an influx of girls who showed up at the 10pm deadline. As a result the dressing room was packed. I didn’t count, but I would guesstimate there were forty girls on the roster for this tiny club. I would also guesstimate that the maximum occupancy of the club would allow roughly 150-200 customers. Thus, at any given time, the customer to dancer ratio remained in MY favor. And all I needed was ONE guy with a credit card.

Guess who walked in around midnight: Panda! He brought four business associates with him. He was ready to go to VIP. But, all the tables were full.

Now enters the importance of a VIP Sales System. Christie’s, Treasures, Scores, Spearmint Rhino and most of the other clubs I have worked in have a system to maximize their VIP profits. When the hour is done, the customer has the choice to renew his time and purchase another bottle, or clear the space for the next party who is ready and willing to purchase a bottle and sign girls out.

Babe’s lacks this system. I alerted the manager that I had a party of 5 that was ready to spend on a Black Amex Card. He said OK, give me a few minutes to clear it out. And then disappeared.

Panda waited patiently for twenty minutes, but his clients were not happy with standing against a wall. It was blatently obvious that no efforts were being made to clear the VIP space for his party. I went onstage, he made it rain, and then apologized on his way out the door, “Sorry, hun this is just too packed for us”

I was livid at first. I did my part, but the club couldn’t follow through with their end of the deal!

Luckily, I caught myself, and realized: so what! What possible benefit could this attitude have? The sale had walked out the door, but I still had a packed house of spenders. Twenty dollar dances add up quick when the crowd wants dances and the customer:dancer ratio is in my favor. I was more profitable in the last hour than I would have been if I had signed out in VIP and given the house it’s 20% cut.

It was the perfect example of what I was talking about yesterday. Sometimes life doesn’t deal you the best hand, but you can STILL turn that hand into a winner!

Only in Arizona does a spring shower mean “Stay at home!” And yes, it’s springtime here: the roses in my front yard are in full bloom and over six feet tall!

Babe’s Cabaret was slow. Of course, I was not on the top of my game either. The antihistamines made my head dizzy, and I was constantly straining my voice just to maintain normal conversation. I met some really nice folks from Portland early in the night though. The slight drizzle didn’t deter them from driving into Scottsdale from the golf resort.

Someone asked me how Panda got his blog name. He picked it. In his own words “Because everyone thinks pandas are so cute and so sweet….but get into the cage with ‘em and….they’re still A BEAR!”

Babes Cabaret was a sea of Red Cardinals Jerseys at 7pm on Sunday Night. After all these years, there is still just something weird about being in a strip club on Sunday night! Oh well, they were drunk and spending their bet money.

Panda and Curtis (he has a blogname now) arrived around 11. They went immediately back to VIP, ordered a bottle and signed Alexis and I out. I changed into my Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader outfit on Panda’s request. The four of us had a blast again.

Panda continued to tease me about what a bad dancer I am, “At this rate, I’ve paid you over $1000 per lap dance. In two nights, you’ve given me about two lapdances! Now go onstage, lets make it rain!”

Alexis and I went onstage together, Panda and Curtis made it rain. I was pretty tipsy from the champagne and not eating much all day, but it was fun to roll around in the blanket of ones that covered the stage. When our song was over, the two of us crawled around the stage, sweeping the ones into a bucket. I wonder how many Washingtons made it to the tip bucket from the original two Franklins that Panda cashed in.

Once back in VIP, we had fun making it rain again, coating the table and couch with the ones from the tip bucket.

I like Panda and Curtis. They are the type of customer I wish I could clone and hang out with every night: respectful, generous, and fun! Good thing they have business in Phoenix every 6-8 weeks and have made Babe’s their spot!

“Where are your balls?” Curtis asked me.

“What?”

“You approach this industry like a guy would. What guy wouldn’t trade in an underpaying job that overworked him for hanging out at a bar having people throw money at you.” he said. “And instead of wasting it on purses and shoes, you invest it and have created wealth… and you don’t give a damn what anyone else thinks of you….so where are your balls?”

I’m ready for my Day of Rest now. Oh, and only 160 of the Washingtons made it to the tip bucket. Where did the other 40 go?

12:49 PM
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Good things come to those who work their a$$ off….

Babe’s was steady all night long with Iggles Fans. I even resurrected my accent to trigger their Friendship Hot Button. I never had a very thick Philly accent, but at times water comes out “wood-er” and the plural of you is “yous” or “yous guys.”

Met a bunch of guys who drove down from Vegas to watch the Iggles play. Also ran into a guy who was the bouncer at Mr. J’s in Orange County. He was “too cool” to buy a dance. C’mon…just because you worked in the industry at some point doesn’t mean you’re too cool to purchase the service that once supported your own livelihood.

I was freshening up in the locker room when I overheard the cocktail waitress tipping off another dancer: “Go to the two guys in a white shirts by the stage. The one just opened a tab with a black AmEx card.”

“Oooooh…..okaaay…I’m just going to finish doing curling this piece of hair…..and….I have to go to the bathroom….” the lazy entertainer said.

So…this SuperStripper walked straight out of the dressing room, found the guy in a white shirt sitting by the stage, and said, “Hi, I should fill your empty lap, huh?”

“Absolutely, we’ve been watching you since we got here.” Panda replied.

Sweet! Panda is in town for Barrett-Jackson from Dallas. He’s a self-proclaimed “Strip Club Connoisseur” with VIP memberships to The Lodge and Spearmint Rhinos. We instantly hit it off.
“I love strippers” he said.
“Cool, I love money!” I joked back.
“We’re a perfect match then.” he said.
His friend came back from the couches and Panda said, “I know you wanted this one, but I’m going to keep her.”

I got called to stage. “Can I buy you off?” Panda asked.

Of course you can! VIP was full at the time. Babe’s only have 3 tables in the VIP area. So we had to wait a bit for Kayla the VIP Hostess to clear out the table who didn’t want to buy another bottle of champagne. Panda and I did a few couch dances.

“Why do I always get the strippers don’t dance and just talk?” he joked.

“Because that’s what you WANT silly! You get back what you attract.” I responded.

“You got me. The mind is the sexiest part of a woman’s body.” Panda responded. As soon as the VIP section cleared out, the four of us moved back there. Panda was treating his client, who picked out Alexis, a gorgeous brunette.

About 45 minutes after buying me offstage, and joking that I haven’t really danced for him, Panda says, “I want to see you onstage.”

“Oh, my stage show sucks.” I tell him. Its true. I can’t dance. I can’t spin on the pole. I pretty much walk back and forth, smile and strike a pose.

“I know. I want to see you work though. Lets make it rain.” Panda handed Kayla two Franklins to exchange for 200 Washingtons. DJ Billy cued Panama. Kayla threw one stack of Washingtons into the air, as soon as they were done fluttering to the ground Panda threw the other. Then all the cheesy people at the stage-side tables grabbed the singles that fluttered onto their table, and held them up one at a time as though it was their dollar. It will be interesting to see how much of the 200 actually ends up in the tip bucket. The floormen help me sweep the stage, and I move over to Stage Two. There was another VIP table there tipping Lincolns and Hamiltons. After my one song on that stage I had two Hamiltons, and six Lincolns in my g-string. Not a bad take for 6 minutes of walking back and forth, smiling and striking a pose.

The four of us closed the bar down in VIP. He’s going to the Iggles Game, but should be back in tonight before he heads to Colorado to ski for the week.

As I cashed out my VIP funny money, the manager handed me my cashed in Washingtons from the stage rain: $201 I KNEW those posers by the stage weren’t using their own money to tip me!

I’m getting old. Even compared to last year when I worked 7 days in a row for the Superbowl I don’t think I was this cranky….maybe I should go back and read those blogs from last year to check! After five hours of sleep, teaching spin class, extra cardio, and watching my 3 long ES futures contracts zoom back up into positive profits, I took a nap.

The problem with naps is that I wake up crankier and stiffer than I was BEFORE I took the nap. So I played a little bit of tennis ball in the sun with the retrievers. The warm Arizona sun is so healing. This time of year is my favorite: mid to upper 70s, sunny, crystal blue sky. Ahhhh, it’s perfect!

I spoke with one of my Dancerwealth business partners during the commute to Babe’s Cabaret. The site is being coded and (cross my fingers) should be up in the next week. It is so frustrating to me to have to depend on the work-speed of other people. My partner told me it’s because I’m a do-er. It’s true, if something needs to get done, I work on it like a madwoman til its done. Like I did this past summer when I was writing/re-designing the program. So for it to be sitting there, ready for me to teach and get the ball rolling…..waiting for the computer guy to code…drives me nuts! Of course, it would probably take more time for me to learn how to code and design websites and software.

8pm: clocked in. 8 customers, 20 girls. I get one $10 dance from Tony from Glendale. It’s a start. The club is pretty stagnate and I’m thirsty so I sit at the bar, have a Diet Coke, and talk to Eddie the bartender.

9:30-ish pm: The after dinner rush is early tonight. There are roughly 35 girls on rotation, which is a lot for the teeny tiny club. It’s packed, and I feel like I’m stepping over people just to do my rounds. Luckily when it is crowded like this, most patrons opt for the $20 couch dance than the $10 table dance. The tables are so close together that if you dance for one guy at a table of 4, it’s like you’re dancing for all four guys because they are all RIGHT THERE! This totally kills the chance to close a sale with the guy sitting next to him, or across the table because they were just staring at your butt for the last 3 minutes. This is why I like to wear a long robe. It’s see through, but yet acts like a curtain so the looky-lous have to buy their own dance if they want to see my butt.

10:30pm: met three older gentlemen from….oh crap I forget where they were from. They were in town for Barrett Jackson. I pulled my robe trick as I was dancing for the first one at the table. The second one then opted for the more private couch dance. He was really sweet. His wife has cancer and she hasn’t slept with her in 10 YEARS. Despite the loud, rowdy crowd around us, he was perfectly content just to have me sit and rub his neck, temples, forearms and hands. He just needed a little bit of human contact. I wrote about this a long time ago. Touch is very healing, and I’m not referring to gropy drunk hands. I am certainly a devotee of massage therapy!

12pm: I don’t recall any lull in business between the after dinner crowd and the late night rush. It was just packed and rowdy all night long. I saw a good looking guy sitting on the couch alone. Perfect, he’s already there. His friend next to him hands me a Franklin and tells me to give him a dance. So I gave him a dance. Ben was a “banker” (again, who calls themself that?), and entertaining his friend Matt who was in town for Barrett Jackson. We chatted a bit about trading futures and options. He had to leave shortly thereafter to get home to wife and baby.

1am: retarded crazy late night rush of people with no money. It was quite irritating, they were all just standing around, taking up space, sitting on the couches even though they weren’t buying dances. As I passed the bar on my rounds, a pudgy guy offers me the vodka and cran in his hand. “Thank you, but we can only drink if you buy a bottle here.” I said sweetly. He thought for a minute, looked at his watch, and said slurred “Maybe another day.”

I locked eyes with an attractive older man sitting alone at a table. His body language relaxed, he uncrossed his arms and sat back to usher me onto his lap. “Are you stalking me?” vodka/cran guy from the bar said as he sat down at the table and handed my guy the other drink. “No, I’m just using you to get to him.” I responded. Chad was also a “banker” from Seattle in town for Barrett-Jackson. We closed the night out with a several couch dances.

Four Down. Two to Go