Treasures

Despite the fact that I have dabbled in the strip club business for eight and a half years, I’m still amused by the pseudo-professionalism of the hiring process.  I show up at 8:30 for my audition.  The door girl looks at me and says, “Did Jim tell you to come back at 8? I thought he said 9.” 

“He did, I’m early.” I replied

“Oooooh.  You’ll have to wait over there then.”  She said motioning to the faux greek columns. 

So after 15 minutes of standing around the strip club lobby, looking like a total dork,  a short Asian manager (not Nick) comes out and tells me to change into a two piece outfit (i e. bikini top and booty shorts)  Not my style, so I put on my red dress.  I don’t do the typical stripper booty shorts thing.

Ten minutes later he returns and looks shocked to see a 6 foot blonde in a red minidress.  “You need to put on a two piece.”  He stammers.

“I don’t own a two piece, just dresses.  Is that a problem?” 

“Well, how are you going to audition?”  he says still dumbfounded

“Well, I figured I’d probably just take it off the same way I would on stage…”  what is with this guy?

“Are you wearing a gstring under your dress?” he asks.

“Of course, this is just a topless bar isn’t it?” I still couldn’t figure out where this conversation was going.

“OK, lift up your dress, let me see you.” he said somewhat uncomfortably.

Oooohhhh…it all made sense now.  Treasures apparently doesn’t audition girls on stage.  Instead they just eyeball the girls figure in a two piece outfit so they can see if her abs, legs, and a$$ are fit and toned.  So I lifted my mini-dress up three inches (it just barely covered my a$$ anyway) flexed my abs, and twirled around.

“OK, you can work any shift you want sweetheart.” he said quickly before he darted back into the lobby.

And that is how a pretty girl with little education can secure a 6 figure job.

Sept 27

Norma Jean

Yes.  My Stage Name at Scores is Norma Jean.  Could it be any worse?  I knew I probably wouldn’t be able to use Avalon.  Ever since the Avalon nightclubs in LA and NY started making headlines in US Weekly magazine, starterStrippers have been using the name more often.  So, after rattling off a gazillion names, the housemom gave me the 17 page list of Taken Stage Names to cross-reference and a short list of Available Stage Names like Hilda, Ruth, and Emmaline.  One of the girls in the dressing room told me I looked like Marilyn Monroe (but of course both Marilyn and Monroe were taken) so we went with Norma Jean.  At least it was easy for me to recognize it when the DJ announced my stage cue.  I still told people my name was Avalon.

My first night at Scores rocked!  I got there early.  The first person I asked for a dance said yes (which is always a good sign)  So thanks Abraham!  You set me up for a good night!  The second guy I talked to tipped me $200 just to have a drink with him and hang out.  He’s was a Vegas local and also the beverage distributor for the club…so it wasn’t “cool” to be seen getting dances.  OK.  You’re hot AND you’re generous.  Cha-ching!

A few hours later I scored my first VIP.  Vladimir Schmidporikovich from Sweden.  He was in town for the Security Expo.  When I walked up to him he asked me if I was Swedish.  Of course Norma Jean is Swedish (or Norweigen, or Finnish, or German, or whatever floats your boat)  He was of Serbian heritage, hence the name, but spoke Swedish, Serbian, English, Spanish, French, and Italian.  Europeans are so much more sophisticated than Americans.  I mean, here we complain about first generation immigrants talking amongst themselves in their primary language…yet how many Americans can actually speak English properly?  $400 for half an hour.  $300 to me, $100 for the split of Reisling.  The VIP room is absolutely gorgeous.  Dark paneled walls, swanky carpet, cameras everywhere, and a VIP host that actually does his job by walking through the room every 5-8 minutes.  He also got Vladimir’s credit card from the downstairs waitress, delivered my $300 Diamond Dollars to me directly, got me out of my stages, took my name off stage rotation, and gently (but firmly) reminded Vladimir there was “no touching of the ladies.”  I had no problem giving him a 20% tip.

After Vladimir, I went downstairs.  The guy I danced for before I met Vladimir grabbed my hand as I walked by.  “Norma Jean!  I thought you left me!”  Scott from Sacramento.  Also in town for the Security Expo.  His boss bought him a table dance, and I could tell he was much more buzzed than the first time I danced for him over an hour ago.  “Lets go upstairs for the next one!” I suggested.  “OK, and then I’m going to buy you a house.”  he said as we walked to the elevator.  Score another $300 for Norma Jean.

I left at 6am with 25% of my tuition money tucked in my wallet.  Famished, I went to the 24 hour diner in my hotel.  Jenny and I used to do this after every shift when I worked in Vegas 5 years ago.  Like many of my stripper friends, I lost touch with Jenny after we stopped working together.  She was a really fun girl.  I miss her.

As I sat there eating my two eggs, two bacon, hash browns, toast, and short stack of pancakes…I realized that Vegas is a REALLY lonely place to be if you’re all by yourself.  I looked around the coffee shop, and all the drunks had a friend, all the little old ladies were having breakfast with their little old men, and there was at least two other tables of strippers chowing down after a long shift.  Oh, I’ve got very good stripper radar.  Can spot another one a mile away.

“Can I ask you a question?” I look up and one of the drunks is trying to keep his balance by grabbing the overhead wooden beam of my booth.

“Sure…” normally I get paid to put up with this kinda stuff….but I was in a good mood.

“You’re thsoooooo bea-uuuuu-tiful.”  He slurred.

Oh great, here we go

“and I see that you’re married so I’m NOT hitting on you. But you see my friend over there.  He’s divorced and not very confident around women.  And he wants to know what it is that a beautiful woman like you looks for in a man.”

OMG.  The age old question.  Do I not deal with this issue day in and day out?

“Confidence.”  I tell him.  “Women are attracted to confidence.  It doesn’t matter what you look like or how much money you have.  If you possess confidence you can do and have anything you want.”

Geez, usually I charge $300 for that advice.

I paid my bill, went up to my hotel room and crashed for 9 hours.  Then I did it all over again.

It’s so nice to be home.