So, my definition of the Madonna/Whore Complex:

Men classify all women into one of only two categories: either evil sexual temptress, or good and pure saint; a woman has to be one or the other.

Furthermore, men have a desire for a woman who is experienced in the bedroom and unashamed of showing sexual prowess (“whore”), but at the same time desire a woman who is wholesome, clean and nuturing (“madonna”), particularly enough to not be branded a “slut” by his peers.  This leads to him marrying an inexperienced woman, but yearning for and even fulfilling sexual trysts with other,  more sexually gratifying women.

So where did the Madonna/Whore complex come from?

There are three widely accepted theories of behavior that explain the nature of man.   Genetic determinism says your family and DNA did it.  Have you ever met someone who claims their short temper is because “I’m Italian/Hispanic/Brazilian.”  Psychic determinism made popular by Sigmund Freud says that your parents did it to you.  Environmental determinism says society, culture, your bitchy exwife, your bratty teenager, or something in your environment causes you to act the way that you do.

I think the Madonna/Whore Complex is due to having a large population of sexually frustrated people (both men AND women) who were raised to believe that sexual activity or just being sexy is a dirty and shameful act.  This seemingly conflicting desire runs rampant in a puritanistic society like America, where both men and women have been led to believe that women have to either be complete prudes or totally promiscuous.

This is especially true in the Bible Belt where religious conservatives are a social majority.  I have noticed that the contact levels at strip clubs  in several major metropolitan Bible Belt Cities like Memphis, Houston, New Orleans, and Atlanta are much higher than the contact levels in more liberal states.

Now, an astute reader familiar with the three theories of determinism might say: Avalon you started off by saying you don’t believe in behaviorism, how can you blame the Madonna/Whore complex on our puritan society?

Well, I think that we are conditioned by society, but it’s ultimately up to the individual to decide if he/she is going to be determined by it.  Individuals who never venture beyond their tightly knit enclaves of like-minded people tend to be more succeptible to environmental determinism.  Individuals who leave the nest and experience other cultures (a 7 day cruise to the Carribbean doesn’t count) tend to have a greater ability to create their own self determinism.

In my ten years of entertaining men in gentlemen’s clubs, I have come across a legion of American men who suffer from the Madonna/Whore complex.  It fascinates me.  And I exploit it.

Sometimes I use it to control Octopusman’s many tentacles: “Honey, do you have a daughter?  Would you like it if a man your age didn’t follow her directions to grope only the chair?”  Then I collect my $20 and walk away.

On stage I play the role of the seductive temptress who slowly strips off elaborate rhinestone encrusted costumes, bares everything down to a g-string and six inch stilettos, then rolls around in piles of cash for 6 carefully choreographed minutes.  As soon as my 2nd song ends I collect my tips and walk hand-in-hand with the next entertainer to the front of the stage.

Most of the time though, I sit in VIP and counsel the legions of men who suffer from this self-inflicted disease (for a $300/hour+).  “I don’t know why I’m here, I never go to these kinds of places, I don’t want you to think I’m a scumbag, you don’t have to dance, just talk to me. My wife hasn’t slept with me in 6 months, what should I do?”  These are the ones who are unhappy with their pristine Madonna at home; but would never stoop so far as to “cheat” on her.  I love these guys.  They are the bread and butter of the strip club industry.

Of course there are some strip club customers who aren’t quite so pleasant.  There is an unfortunate seedy element to some strip clubs that I choose to ignore.  Some customers ARE misogynists who do cheat on their Madonna-wife because they can only get off when they are with a “whore.”  These are the types that come to strip clubs looking for a “whore” to grope, proposition, and disrespect.  Part of being a SuperStripper is having the tools to weed out these types right away, and to NEVER do anything that is not within your own personal beliefs and values.

We teach all of this and more at SuperStripper Bootcamp to empower women in the gentlemen’s club industry to take control of their lives.

At one time or another, we have all asked ourselves: What is THAT girl doing? Why does SHE always make twice as much money as I do? Is there something I should be doing different?? You know who I’m talking about. She is in every club. You see her counting more than what you said was your GOAL for the night and the shift isn’t even close to over yet!! How does she do that?

It’s because she is in The SuperStripper Zone

You’ve even been in the ZONE yourself from time to time. You may not have even realized it. Or maybe you didn’t take credit for it. Have you ever been working during the busy season when you don’t have to work very hard: guys just seem to line up for your dances and you don’t have enough time to get to all of them? You may have attributed this to not enough girls working, or a good dancer to customer ratio…but really…it was YOU.

YOU were in the SuperStripperZone! Do you know how you got there? More importantly, do you know how can you MAKE it happen more often or EVERY TIME you work??

That’s what this week is about…Getting yourself into The SuperStripper Zone!

If you are a subscriber to our newsletter you will receive our FREE ebook about how to get yourself into this money making state. To subscribe, just go to our home page, scroll to the bottom, and enter in your email address. Don’t worry, we won’t sell it to anyone.

Members, the weekly topic of our webinar today  at 1pm Pacific  is a LIVE version of How to Get Yourself into the SuperStripper Zone.  If you can’t make it, don’t worry, the archive version will be available in the Members Section.

These Free Videos and MORE are located in our Free Video Section

You asked…we gave it to you!

You can bid on a ONE YEAR membership to DancerWealth on Ebay.

There is NO reserve….so someone WILL win!  Bidding starts at 99 cents!

And notice…I conveniently added the Ebay Widget to the sidebar so you can follow the auction without ever having to leave the blog!

Blast Off!

StripandGrowRich is at 100% functionality today. In addition to the DancerWealth, DancerWise and DancerVictory programs, we also have an affiliate and mentoring program in the works!

I know a lot of my readers and friends are veteran dancers who are awaiting our referral program.  The official StripandGrowRich Affilitate Program will launch next week, which will allow you to earn a 25% commission just for telling those new dancers at the club (who are always asking you for free advice) about us.  Stay tuned for details!

For all you newbies and relative newbies who have less than 3 years experience, we are developing a mentor program.  It will allow you to take the online DancerWealth course, and have additional one on one mentoring with Avalon, Donovan, Adam, or one of our StripandGrowRich Coaches.   Then once you have finished the program, you can become a certifed StripandGrowRich Coach and Affiliate and earn money mentoring and refering new students.

If you are just thinking about dancing, but not sure if you want to take the plunge…. be sure to check out our Free Video area.    Veterans….this is not for you, but you can still watch Dancer101.

Only ONE more day to save 10% on Dancerwealth 2.0 Coupon code: 05CA11BA

I am VERY pleased with the feedback from my BetaTesters!  It is so fulfilling to know that I’m helping!

From Luvbuniz in Las Vegas via www.stripperweb.com “I’ve bought the new Dancerwealth and it’s good. It’s not a rehash of the old course and much more sales based. I pretty much banked the first few days after watching the videos.”

From Vanessa in Australia:

And From Kristine in Las Vegas

I posed this question today on Twitter:

Is going to the strip club considered cheating in your relationship?

I had to add that last part.  There is no right or wrong answer to this question, because every relationship is based upon different mutually acceptable agreements.

I have customers ask me from time to time, “I don’t think I’m cheating on her by being here…do you?”

My response is always, “Whose opinion matters more to you, mine or your wife’s?”

In my marriage, me going to the strip club is not cheating.  I don’t go to the strip club with the intention of flirting with other men for attention or affection.  If my spouse goes to the strip club, has a few beers, and gets a few dances, I don’t consider that cheating either….but I do get peeved when the tab starts creeping above a certain dollar figure.

Nevertheless, even though it’s not “cheating”…I would be lying if I said that being a stripper didn’t have an effect on my marriage.  That is a pretty loose statement on purpose.  Lots of things can have an effect on relationships: having children, not having children, addiction, rehabilitation, accidents, illnesses, promotions, job losses, gambling, conflict management, abuse, etc.

I’d love to hear your thoughts….

Cue the music:

My evening started with the  guys from West Virginia at the bar.  I was sipping my Diet Coke when one of the middle aged white guys in a golf shirt stumbled over his own foot and plowed into the barstool next to me.  “I’ve been drinkin’ since noon…” he mumbles.  I have been actively working on my bar-hustle because  I usually  gravitate towards the guys sitting at a table before the guys sitting at the bar.  After a bit of chit-chat I begin to set up my test-close, “The only problem with hanging out here at the bar is that you don’t have a lap!”  The test close is NOT asking directly for a dance, but rather leading the conversation in that direction to gauge how ready he  is to be closed.  West Virginia was ready, he basically sold himself  “Yeah, I need a lap for you to give me a lapdance.  Lets go over there.”

During the first wave of the rush, Cami and I did a double dance  for an Amish kid from Pennsylvania.  He totally played it up “We don’t have nothin like this out on the farm!”  So in turn I had to ask,  “So did you ride your horse and buggy all the way out here to Arizona?”

It must still be REALLY cold in Canada.  I think every other table was from Saskatchewan or Ontario.  There was also a large group of about twenty five German pilots.  I was pleasantly surprised since tourist season is winding down here in the desert as the temperatures begin to approach the mid-90s.  Locals were in attendance as well, I gave my new favorite godaddy.com rep a few dances…great contact when you are launching an online business

Party crowd, high energy, cat calls, and lots of singles flowing through the air.  I knew what DJ Billy was going to play for my Power Hour Stage Set before the first chord of the Beastie Boys pumped through the speakers.  It’s nights like this that I will always remember fondly, and commemorate in this blog.

At the end of the night, the sound of cash dominated the locker room.  You know…that brisk sound of paper-on-paper as it is being counted.  Love that sound.

Jobless To Topless
Shana Franklin,
The 33News April 22, 2009

Adult entertainment is a business that has long been considered nearly recession-proof. And today in Dallas, there was more proof in the pole. Hundreds attended a job fair called Jobless to Topless. Applicant David Ward says, “Definitely more of a bonus than a negative.” It’s was the first annual event by Burch Management, which is looking to fill about 200 jobs in its 9 gentlemen’s clubs throughout North Texas. Burch V.P. Steve Craft says, “We do a lot of advertising we do a lot for the community and I think you’re really starting to see that. And people are getting more comfortable coming out.” The turnout ranged from college students to those in investment banking. Men and women applying not just for entertainer openings, but chefs, bartenders, hair, makeup and nail techs and clerical staff. Applicant Jessica Waggoner says, “I need some experience and administrativApril 22, 2009 Adult entertainment is a business that has long been considered nearly recession-proof.

And today in Dallas, there was more proof in the pole. Hundreds attended a job fair called Jobless to Topless. Applicant David Ward says, “Definitely more of a bonus than a negative.” It’s was the first annual event by Burch Management, which is looking to fill about 200 jobs in its 9 gentlemen’s clubs throughout North Texas. Burch V.P. Steve Craft says, “We do a lot of advertising we do a lot for the community and I think you’re really starting to see that. And people are getting more comfortable coming out.” The turnout ranged from college students to those in investment banking. Men and women applying not just for entertainer openings, but chefs, bartenders, hair, makeup and nail techs and clerical staff.

Applicant Jessica Waggoner says, “I need some experience and administrative and clerical work to help further my education while I’m in school, and to open my own business.” Some, like Tasha Ross, have worked in the business before. She was offered a dancing job on the spot. She says, “With me going to school and all, I think it’s a good opportunity because I get out at like 4:30, and I could come here and work and then go home.” Bartender and hostess Quintessa Chavez thinks people would be surprised to know how normal it is. Quintessa Chavez says, “The employees are more normal than people think, the customers are more normal than you think.” No one we talked to had any hesitation with the industry, saying in these economic times, a job is a job. Cody Sharp says, “It doesn’t really faze me at all.” Apparently a lot of people felt the same way. Jobless to Topless got about 300 applicants today, and more could be coming in.e and clerical work to help further my education while I’m in school, and to open my own business.”

Some, like Tasha Ross, have worked in the business before. She was offered a dancing job on the spot. She says, “With me going to school and all, I think it’s a good opportunity because I get out at like 4:30, and I could come here and work and then go home.” Bartender and hostess Quintessa Chavez thinks people would be surprised to know how normal it is. Quintessa Chavez says, “The employees are more normal than people think, the customers are more normal than you think.” No one we talked to had any hesitation with the industry, saying in these economic times, a job is a job. Cody Sharp says, “It doesn’t really faze me at all.” Apparently a lot of people felt the same way. Jobless to Topless got about 300 applicants today, and more could be coming in.