Cue the music:

My evening started with the  guys from West Virginia at the bar.  I was sipping my Diet Coke when one of the middle aged white guys in a golf shirt stumbled over his own foot and plowed into the barstool next to me.  “I’ve been drinkin’ since noon…” he mumbles.  I have been actively working on my bar-hustle because  I usually  gravitate towards the guys sitting at a table before the guys sitting at the bar.  After a bit of chit-chat I begin to set up my test-close, “The only problem with hanging out here at the bar is that you don’t have a lap!”  The test close is NOT asking directly for a dance, but rather leading the conversation in that direction to gauge how ready he  is to be closed.  West Virginia was ready, he basically sold himself  “Yeah, I need a lap for you to give me a lapdance.  Lets go over there.”

During the first wave of the rush, Cami and I did a double dance  for an Amish kid from Pennsylvania.  He totally played it up “We don’t have nothin like this out on the farm!”  So in turn I had to ask,  “So did you ride your horse and buggy all the way out here to Arizona?”

It must still be REALLY cold in Canada.  I think every other table was from Saskatchewan or Ontario.  There was also a large group of about twenty five German pilots.  I was pleasantly surprised since tourist season is winding down here in the desert as the temperatures begin to approach the mid-90s.  Locals were in attendance as well, I gave my new favorite godaddy.com rep a few dances…great contact when you are launching an online business

Party crowd, high energy, cat calls, and lots of singles flowing through the air.  I knew what DJ Billy was going to play for my Power Hour Stage Set before the first chord of the Beastie Boys pumped through the speakers.  It’s nights like this that I will always remember fondly, and commemorate in this blog.

At the end of the night, the sound of cash dominated the locker room.  You know…that brisk sound of paper-on-paper as it is being counted.  Love that sound.

So we stocked up on Babe’s Cabaret VIP Passes and headed up to The Dirty Dawg Saloon in Scottsdale.  It’s a Coyote Ugly style bar complete with dancing bartenders who hang from the rafters.  A few of them had REALLY good acrobatic skills.  I have long considered this type of bar job the “gateway” to stripping.  I did it myself in my early twenties when I was too shy to dance.  I worked as a bartender/cocktail waitress/beer tub girl at bar that was a cross between Hooters and Hard Rock Cafe.

I posted a bunch of pictures in my myspace albums.
This is my favorite one of Me and Cami

1. As humans, we make life choices that harmonize with our beliefs.  We unconsciously choose to put ourselves in situations and associate with people that fit our preconceptions.  We avoid people and situations that might weaken or challenge what we believe to be true.

2. We practice selective attention or inattention depending on the circumstance.  Our minds tune into phenomena that confirm our beliefs while ignoring, avoiding, deleting, or violently reacting to anything that could weaken that belief.  We selectively remember events that support what we want to believe is true and selectively forget events that show us otherwise.

3. We automatically distort, mold, or exaggerate evidence to reasonable fit our beliefs.

4. As a last ditch effort, we may also rationalize contradictory evidence to uphold a belief.  Often this involves misinterpreting someone’s motives, and/or convincing yourself of a motive that really isn’t there.

Buy it for $7.94

I’m totally digging all this psychological mumbo-jumbo as I create the all new DancerWise program.

1. I gave a dance to a very nice older lady last night.  “That’s it?” she asked when I finished my lame airdance.  “Uh…yep twenty please.”  Apparently she was a Bible-Humper, and held the belief that strip clubs were dens of sin and prostitution.   Kudos to her for challenging her belief.  It’s a good thing she picked Babe’s in Scottsdale and not Mitchell Brother’s in San Francisco to confirm/deny her preconcieved belief.

2. My good friend just got her heart ripped out by some douchebag.  Although they hadn’t been dating long, she only paid attention to the good things about him, and ignored the situations where his true intentions began to show.

3. Strip clubs are a fantasy land.  Most patrons can distinguish between the reality of paying $20 for a few minutes of topless entertainment.  Others will exaggerate an entertainers weekly follow up sales call into something else.

4. Refer back to number 2

I devoured my $0.80 copy of Buyers Renters and Freeloaders yesterday as I sat in the sun.

It was well worth the eighty cents. Dr. Harley’s writing style makes it easy to read and his clear-cut philosophies just make perfect sense to me.

Although the book is designed for people who are dating, there is a lot of good info for ‘ole married broads like myself. I have always been fascinated with psychology. I want to discover why I make the choices that I do, especially if it was an out-of-character choice that is inconsistent with my typical values. Moreover, understanding other people’s motives have helped me keep my head (somewhat) straight in this crazy industry.

As for today’s topic, I was talking to my good friend Priscilla who recently moved back to Texas. For those of you who remember her from Christie’s, she’s doing great! She said she was giving up trying to seriously date someone while she was still dancing because every time she really likes a guy, and everything seems to be working well, 6-9 months into the relationship he pulls the “I can’t commit to you…when you go take your top off for other guys” line. Another friend told me that her boyfriend gave her the “You have one month to stop dancing or I’m breaking up with you” ultimatum.

I’ve never experienced this first hand, but just five minutes in the locker room proves the Madonna/Whore Complex makes it difficult for entertainers to date, marry, and lead “normal” lives. Compounding the problem, is the tendency for people (both male and female) to be what Dr. Harley calls Renters in relationships.

Renters are willing to adjust and care for a person, as long as it is in their best interest to do so. Its like a person who is willing to pay whatever rent is necessary to live in the house of his choice, but reserves the right to leave if it is no longer suitable or if something better can be found. He or she agrees to keep the place clean, but is not willing to make major repairs or improvements. This agreement-to provide short term care as long as it’s worth the effort-is based on the following beliefs:

1. Romantic relationships require a certain amount of give and take, but its only right for me if what I take is worth what I give. Someone who is right for me today can be wrong for me tomorrow. The person may be what I need in one stage of my life, but not what I need in another so my romantic relationships should be considered temporary. If what I take isn’t worth what I give, either my partner should give me more, or I should end the relationship to find someone who can give me what I need.

2. If I am in a romantic relationship with someone who criticizes me, it does not mean that my partner is wrong for me if I can make the necessary changes. But my change should only be made if what I get from my partner is worth the effort.

3. If I am in a romantic relationship and my partner expects me to sacrifice my own happiness to meet my partners needs in return for what my partner has done for me, that is a reasonable expectation. And if I feel I am getting less than I deserve it’s reasonable for me to expect my partner to sacrifice some happiness for my fulfillment.

If you are reading that and shaking your head in agreement, then you are a Relationship Renter. There is nothing “wrong” with being a Renter in a relationship. If you are happy being single for life, or happy with the idea of having two, three, or four different serious relationships and/or marriages for the different stages of your life, then continue to Rent. But if you are truly seeking one lifelong partner, know that all your relationships are ultimately doomed to fail with the Renter mentality. The statistics speak for themselves: 50% of all first marriages fail. 67% of all second marriages fail. The third time is not a charm because 74% of third marriages fail. These statistics come from www.divorcerate.org

Getting back to Priscilla and the quandry most of the single entertainers I know face: the insecure man who gives you a job ultimatum is simply a Relationship Renter. Renters regularly evaluate how fair their relationship is, making sure the levels of effort and sacrifice are even. If Renters feel they are giving more than they are getting, they feel justified in demanding more for themselves to balance the scales. When their demands are unmet, it often leads to fights and ultimatums.

Keep in mind, the Renters’ willingness to sacrifice and expect sacrifice somes from the assumption that the relationship is temporary. They are not thinking about long term solutions to problems but rather about short-term fixes. Thus, the guy who is willing to sacrifice his Madonna/Whore complex to casually or exclusively date a stripper…ultimately expects as much of a sacrifice back in order for the relationship to be fair.

The big question for the SuperStripper: are you willing to sacrifice your income, livelihood, and lifestyle for someone who assumes your relationship is temporary?

Buy it for 80 cents

Nothing to write home about. As I expected I sat around for a few hours and then hustled my butt off after midnight. I did meet an interesting character who told me that the next time he came in I should wash my hair in rosemary and eat garlic. Whatever floats your boat buddy!

I have several pressing items on my agenda today, so I don’t have time for a long post. Instead, I would like to highlight a post from Kim Kiyosaki’s blog at www.richwoman.com I’m a huge fan of hers and have been gradually shifting from the traditional retirement plan to the RichWoman planning method for the past 3 years.

Everyone has a retirement plan. The problem is, most people don’t have a very good retirement plan.

Traditional retirement plans work on the assumption that you put away money during your working years into a “nest egg” that you live off of when you retire. This plan has some serious flaws:
• You may live longer than you planned for and run out of money.
• You may encounter unexpected expenses that consume your nest egg prematurely.
• Inflation will eat away at your nest egg’s purchasing power, and is difficult to predict.
• An unexpected market downturn (or crash!) can wipe out years of savings in a matter of days.
• The sheer amount of money you’d need to save is staggering.

If you miscalculate in your predictions for your nest egg plan and don’t save enough, you may have to accept a lower standard of living in retirement, or you may not be able to retire at all.

Instead of “nest egg” retirement planning, the Rich Woman method focuses on building cash flow. Investing for cash flow means that your investments make you money continuously for as long as you own the asset. The benefits of cash flow investing are:
• Because you can build cash flow in 10 years or less, you don’t have to wait until you are old to retire. That means more time to enjoy a truly fun and meaningful life.
•You cannot outlive your cash flow. As long as you own the asset and it is managed well, it gives you passive income every month.
• If your expenses go up you can buy more cash-flowing assets to cover them. Saving your money in the short term to buy cash-flowing investments allows you to maintain a prosperous standard of living indefinitely.
•If something happens to destroy your cash flow, you will have the skills and knowledge needed to rebuild your cash flow with new investments. Even in a worst-case scenario where you are starting over from scratch, you can use your financial intelligence to recover in a relatively short period of time. This means that nothing life throws at
you can keep you down permanently!

Even during these uncertain economic times there are good cash-flowing investments to be had. Invest now in your financial education so you can tell the good deals apart from the bad deals out there. Then implement a “retirement” plan that will allow you to “retire” on your own terms!

Suffice to say, I’m much happier today holding my DestinationAvalon asset, my option/futures Trading Company asset, my stripping business, and soon to be re-released Dancerwealth.com asset…than I would be if
I was using David Bach’s Latte Factor method. One advantage of being an entertainer is that I was forced to think outside of the box. Unlike traditional careers where my income increases as I reach middle age…the majority of my income is earned when I am in my 20s and 30s. So I know I can’t follow traditional financial planning advice and win.

Instead, I had to find a way to Strip and Grow Rich. DancerWealth was my first step. I thank Adam Sternberg every chance I get for pioneering that program six years ago. He taught me how to make more money in the strip club. But making a lot of money doesn’t mean squat if you don’t funnel it into the appropriate cash flowing assets that will eventually replace your dancing income.

It took a lot of mistakes, a few failed investments, personal bankruptcy, two decimated trading accounts, and A LOT of perseverence to figure out this path. I’ve been sharing snippets of it with you through this blog. You ain’t seen nothing yet!!!!

Consensus is: the strip clubs are dead. So if you are thinking about trying a different one in town, don’t bother. The one exception is a little known place under new ownership that specifically marketed to the hip-hop crowd, secured celebrity hosts for the weekend, and word of mouth invited local SuperStrippers they know can close a deal. Smart move! If only I felt comfortable around that demographic…

I actually didn’t work at Babe’s last night. My dear friend and cardio partner from the gym was celebrating her 49th birthday. She had connections to the TMobile Party at Hotel Valley Ho, so I did something completely out of character….and went to a celebrity party. Everyone was really tall. I was only star struck by Jack Nickelson…and the lemon mini tarts at dessert table. I passed out a ton of Babe’s VIP Passes, it will be interesting to see how many of them come back to the club.

Off to the gym now. Must work off my Valentine’s Day Lunch before I head in to Babe’s.

I added the question mark because….where is everyone? Babe’s was a ghost town last night! Well, other than the extra twenty girls who showed up to work (myself included, I HATE Thursday nights) and the handful that actually flew into town from Vegas to work the event. That alone speaks volumes on the current state of our industry.

I paid my house fee up front as I always do. It’s a tax write off and it’s the cost of doing business. I personally never expect the house to comp my fee because I have a bad night. In Vegas they don’t even let you in the door til you have paid your stage fee! Also, Babe’s has been so generous to me since I started working there, with a month of free house fees in the beginning, two weeks free in January, and one free night because I showed up to the staff meeting.

Many of the whiners in the dressing room didn’t agree with me. One outspoken one in particular really cracks me up. I like her a lot, but she is the epitome of SubsistenceStripper’s poor work ethic. Her evenings usually consist of three core activities: 1. sitting in the dressing room for hours texting current and ex-boyfriends. 2. ordering and eating take-out food. 3. going on stage, followed by one round of “wanna dance” sales.

It is times like this that starts to weed out the SubsistenceStrippers. In reality, its all just part of the natural business cycle. Those who cannot perform (or choose to be lazy instead of performing) eventually realize that they are better suited for the guaranteed pay of a $7/hr job at the mall than running their own stripping business.

I closed my ears as I was getting changed at the end of the night. I had a below average evening, but if you look at the big picture…it would be equivalent to the earnings of a $70k/year job. If you are new to my blog, I wrote a post on this two years ago.

Tonight will be better!

Its funny to me when aspects of my two worlds collide.

When I trade the stock market, I sometimes have to sit around all day, watching the screen for my entry signal. It can be boring, but I’ve learned that if I don’t get the proper set-up, I don’t enter the trade.

It was like that at Babe’s last night. I had to sit around, waiting for the proper set up. I had to wait til the last hour of the night…but then my signal came. Four middle aged white guys came in and sat next to the stage. They were poker players, one was even in the top 10 of The World Series of Poker last year. I like gamblers, they are always flush with cash, and if they walk in the door it’s because they won.
Here is what I have found about this weekends events:

Sunday’s NBA All-Star Game is about the NBA lifestyle as much as it is about basketball.

Catch a variety of events from the Slam Dunk Contest to the D-League All-Star Game on Saturday. And watch the NBA All-Star Game itself and R&B singer John Legend as he headlines the halftime show on Sunday