Posted by Bob_Loblaw on another site, used with permission.
Obviously, everyone will say the number one thing a customer can do is spend money.   More specifically though, I think the key is in how a customer spends money. IMO, it should be both generously AND frequently.

Taking the focus off dancers for a brief moment, if you want to improve your club experience I think it’s vitally important to tip the wait staff generously. Not only will they serve you faster and be more attentive to your needs, they will be much friendlier and project a positive vibe which is especially beneficial when a dancer joins you at your table. A dancer can obtain some hints about what kind of customer you could potentially be from the interaction between you and the waitress. If you’ve established a level of comfort with your waitress that allows her to laugh and joke with you, odds are you are a pretty good customer to her. In effect, you’ve been pre-screened by the waitress. If you tip the waitress generously, odds are you’ll be generous to the dancer. If the waitress asks if you’d like to buy the dancer a drink and you readily accept or if you take the initiative and offer to buy a drink for the dancer on your own, odds are you’ll be willing to spend more money on the dancer. I strongly believe it’s important for customers to have ATF waitresses and to do their best to ensure they sit in their sections to reap the benefits.

If you’re sitting close to the stage, stage tipping should be a must by rule. You’re receiving entertainment value from the stage show so it’s only fair the dancer performing receives compensation for it. When stage tipping, tips should be offered freely and without strings. There’s no need to make a dancer “work for it” as she’s already on stage working for you.

Buy dances!  If you’ve allowed a dancer to sit with you for a while, you’d better be prepared to at least tip for her time if you’re not going to buy dances. When it comes to buying dances, I have a self imposed rule of a two dance minimum per dancer. I believe single dance buyers are viewed as an annoyance by most dancers and so it’s extremely rare that I’ll stop after one dance. When I have, it’s only because she’s caused me some sort of unbearable extreme discomfort. Of course some guys may think I’m crazy for spending any additional money on a dance I’m not really into but I believe it still positively contributes to my club experience. Firstly, girls talk and I don’t want to be identified as a one-and-done customer who then gets passed over by other dancers who’s company I would have otherwise enjoyed. Or even if they don’t talk, dancers are pretty observant and can see your spending habits. On the other hand, if you make frequent trips to the private dance area for extended periods of time, dancers will see that too and generally are more enthusiastic when approaching. I go into the club expecting to spend money anyway and burning the cost of a dance two or three times over the course of a night is something I’m prepared to do. I have a lot more fun when I don’t have to constantly worry about stretching my dollars.

Leave the club when you’ve exhausted your strip club budget. It goes back to the first point I made about not wasting the dancers’ time and prevents you from being labeled a time waster.

Always tip for dances as generously as one can afford. And when it comes to buying a block of dances (or time) where I’m getting a volume discount on dances, my personal rule is to always pay the equivalent of full price dances as a bare minimum. For example, if I’m getting a two-for-one dance, I’ll pay her for the two dances. Or if I’m paying $300 for an hour (when single dances are $20/ea for approx 3 mins each), I’d give her $500 ($400 worth of full price dances plus an extra $100 tip which works out to only 20% if you think about it in those terms).

I will never negotiate the price of a dance. I will never ask a dancer for change. I will never get so many dances from a girl that I can no longer afford to provide a good tip. I will never negotiate for contact. I will never request extras. I will never tell a dancer how to do her job. I will never request OTC. I will never ask for personal details. I will never offer backhanded compliments. I will never say anything bad about another dancer to her. I will never complain to her about her dances. I will never complain about the club or staff to her. I will never play mind games. I will never eat stage side (I’ve never understood this behavior as I think it’s plain rude). I will never monopolize a dancer’s time without spending money.

I will be open to her approach. I will be comfortable with her comfort level. If all she’s comfortable offering is an airdance, I will be content with that. I will let her take the lead. I will be as honest and modest as possible. I will respect her boundaries. I will try to keep the mood light and positive. I will pay attention to her as she speaks. I will always be polite. I will always thank her for her time.

I will take a shower and wash my hair before going to the club. I will wear clothes that are freshly washed. Unless I’ve intentionally grown out facial hair, I will ensure I’m clean shaven. I will brush my teeth prior to going to the club and will carry some sort of breath freshening aids with me (e.g., mints, gum, breath strips, etc.). I will avoid food and beverages the day of a strip club visit that would contribute to bad breath (e.g., garlic, beer, etc.). With regards to cologne, I choose not to wear any and find it unnecessary particularly after just showering.

Where lap dance clubs are concerned, I’ll avoid wearing belts and button down shirts or shirts with zippers. While they may look good, I find the buttons/zippers can catch on a dancers clothes and are a source of discomfort for many dancers. On the other hand, I’ve received many compliments/thanks for wearing soft and smooth clothes. Other positive reinforcement I’ve received is compliments for smooth, soft skin (face, neck, arms, hands). Sorry to get all metro but moisturizing will always be appreciated. I also ensure my nails are maintained. Oh, and lip balm is a good idea too (no, not for kissing) as the sight of chapped lips is unsightly. Basically, just look presentable and ensure you’re not the source of any unpleasant odors (which includes overpowering cologne).

Ladies:  What do you think??  Would this be your ideal client?

Gentlemen:  Can we do this?  Is this realistic and doable?

So, did anyone else have a problem answering some of those personality test questions?  I did.

As entertainers, we put a mask on every night.  We wear both a physical mask (hair extensions, fake boobs, fake eyelashes, heavy makeup) and an emotional mask.  For those of you who are relatively new to entertaining, you may still be in the process of developing your Stripper Persona.

I remember talking about Stripper Persona to a newbie one night a few months ago.  She said something to the tune of, “Most guys just don’t seem to like me…that’s just who I am, and I can’t change that”  I told her that she needed to separate her Real Life and her Stripper Persona.  The Stripper Persona isn’t necessarily a whole lot different from the Real Life Persona…it is just amplified.  It’s still you, but it embodies all the qualities that that you want to be….but are too shy to be in your Real Life.

Ironically, after a  while we tend to become more like our Stripper Personas.  I’m not referring to the loud, drunk, and topless aspect; I’m referring to confidence, friendliness, poise, and the ability to socialize with people who aren’t like you.

I first noticed this at the very first Exotic Dancer MBA that I taught with Lia from Starlight Ministries. Lia gave all the participants the Myers-Briggs personality test.  As I was taking the test I had to stop and evaluate some of the simplest questions like: “Do you usually approach and introduce yourself to strangers at a party?”  Avalon would….Rebecca wouldn’t.  “Do you make your decisions quickly by your gut or slowly by anlyzing facts.” Well, Avalon can quickly decide a customer’s personality type and appropriate sale….Rebecca spent YEARS of research to design the system that Avalon uses.

Panda from Dallas paid me a surprise visit on this week.  I met Panda in January during Barrett-Jackson.  He is a Blue: was easy to close, lots of fun, and wants to make sure everyone he is with is having as much fun as he is….just put it on the Black AmEx card.  Curtis was with him again.  They rolled in Tuesday night after a few cinco de mayo cocktails.  The entertainer Curtis hung out with last time wasn’t working, so I introduced him to Cami.  They never even sat down on the main floor, we just went straight to VIP.  For Five Hours.

What do you do for five hours in VIP?  Scorpio, a good customer of mine, once told me “Only 5% of women can intrigue a man longer than 30 seconds.”  If you are an entertainer and you don’t know how to keep your customer interested in you longer than 3 1/2 minutes…you have a BIG problem.  Extended VIP sessions are a lot like a cocktail party where you are the hostess.  You sip champagne, you tell jokes and funny stories, you listen to their jokes and funny stories.  You take silly pictures on YOUR cameraphone (not theirs).  Essentially, you use the Friendship Hot Button to solidify your business relationship with them.  After all, the customers who purchase extended VIP sessions tend to be solidifying their business relationship with their clients by bonding over a shared interest in pretty girls.

Wednesday night, Panda and Curtis came back in with Micky, an older white haired chap.  Again they went straight to VIP.  Cami and I had a mission to find an entertainer who could intrigue Mickey longer than 3 1/2 minutes.  Micky wasn’t very picky, and he said he liked petite blondes.  So we started looking for petite blondes.  He liked the dances that he got from the first few girls we brought over, but after 2 or 3 songs of wiggling…they didn’t know what to talk about or how to connect with this man who was 20 years older than them.  So we tried a different route and introduced him to Nadia, a tall, curvy Russian with reddish brown hair.  Even though she was the polar opposite of what he said he wanted, she was able to intrigue him for 3 hours.

Towards the end of the second night, Panda jokes to me once again, “So…am I EVER going to get a lapdance from you?  I always pick the talkers…”

“Because thats what you want, silly You attract what you put out there!” I teased back…again.

Without the skills I learned and now teach in DancerWealth I wouldn’t have been able to attract and keep customers like Panda.  Just like I told Panda, you attract what you put out there too.

I met the most interesting person at Babes Cabaret the other night.  The party of four white guys in golf shirts were seated at a table next to the main stage table.  When it was my turn for stage rotation, DJ Billy blasted the Van Halen.  Each gentleman at the table tipped me a Washington, the one closest to the stage tucked a Lincoln into the side of my gstring.  As many of you know, I’m not a great stage dancer…but I am pretty good at closing a lapdance sale at the tip rail.

“Gosh, you guys sure are having fun, aren’t you?” I asked with a Sullivan Nod. (Thanks for the proper terminology Violastrings!)  He bobbed his head up and down in agreement.

“And you just got here too!  This is going to be a fun night, huh?” (Sullivan Nod, smile) He agreed again.

“Well, I have to do one more song on that stage, and then I’ll be right over…okay?” (Sullivan nod, smile) Another agreement.

After my song on second stage I went right back to the Lincoln Tipper.  I still hadn’t determined his Color, based on appearances, I would go with Green, so I was prepared for a drawn out negotiation.  We chatted for two songs, using my DancerWealth Basic Lapdance Sales Script, Tie-Downs and more Sullivan Nods.  Towards the end of the second song I test- closed him, “Gosh, you’re ready for me to take my top off now, huh?”

“Yeah, lets go over there,” he said motioning to the couches.  I was really surprised, the Green upsold himself?

Since it was the middle of the song, we chatted a bit more on the couch as I waited for the next song.  He was definitely a Green: engineer, talked about how he reconciled his bank account to the penny, very analytical.  But I also noticed Blue qualities: he kept glancing at the table to make sure his buddies were having a good time, was very warm and friendly, a big hugger.  So I began to use Blue Strategies instead of Green Strategies.  It worked and he totally made my night!

Personality profiling is more of an art than a science.  Most people are not 100% one color, but rather possess a greater percentage of one color than another.  Depending on the situation, a person’s  secondary color may prevail.  In this case: the analytical Green was away from his normal environment, so his secondary Blue qualities surfaced.

Click Here if You Want to Learn More About How To Use Personality Profiling to Close More Lapdance Sales

is what my husband has said about his parents, our neighbors, and anyone who knows me from my “real life.” I agree to a certain extent, but as I am preparing this carefully timed mass media marketing campaign…I’m pretty sure there are going to be some pretty surprised people who find out what I’ve really been up to the past 10 years.

Will they treat me differently? Are they going to think bad things about me? Will they start whispering behind my back?

Probably. But it’s not stopping me.

As I mature I can take many different vantage points of a situation. On the one hand, I agree that there are some people out there that just can’t handle the truth. For example, if I ever aspired to run for public office…well….anywhere other than Las Vegas…my SuperStripper past would probably ruin my chances of winning.

However, most of the time the person saying those words really means, “I’m too lazy to deal with the drama it will cause if I am honest” So instead of dealing with a situation honestly; they withhold information, tell half truths, or out and out lie to make things easier for themselves. This selfish strategy works for a little while…but only makes the situation worse when you eventually have to fess up or you get caught in your half-truth.

It was a lot easier for me to tell my family the half truth that I worked “at a bar.” As I found out last summer, Mom really could handle the truth. My selfishness and dishonesty actually hurt her more than the truth about my profession.

So who are you telling half-truths to? Can that person really not handle the truth or is your own selfish agenda getting in the way of you doing the right thing?

I devoured my $0.80 copy of Buyers Renters and Freeloaders yesterday as I sat in the sun.

It was well worth the eighty cents. Dr. Harley’s writing style makes it easy to read and his clear-cut philosophies just make perfect sense to me.

Although the book is designed for people who are dating, there is a lot of good info for ‘ole married broads like myself. I have always been fascinated with psychology. I want to discover why I make the choices that I do, especially if it was an out-of-character choice that is inconsistent with my typical values. Moreover, understanding other people’s motives have helped me keep my head (somewhat) straight in this crazy industry.

As for today’s topic, I was talking to my good friend Priscilla who recently moved back to Texas. For those of you who remember her from Christie’s, she’s doing great! She said she was giving up trying to seriously date someone while she was still dancing because every time she really likes a guy, and everything seems to be working well, 6-9 months into the relationship he pulls the “I can’t commit to you…when you go take your top off for other guys” line. Another friend told me that her boyfriend gave her the “You have one month to stop dancing or I’m breaking up with you” ultimatum.

I’ve never experienced this first hand, but just five minutes in the locker room proves the Madonna/Whore Complex makes it difficult for entertainers to date, marry, and lead “normal” lives. Compounding the problem, is the tendency for people (both male and female) to be what Dr. Harley calls Renters in relationships.

Renters are willing to adjust and care for a person, as long as it is in their best interest to do so. Its like a person who is willing to pay whatever rent is necessary to live in the house of his choice, but reserves the right to leave if it is no longer suitable or if something better can be found. He or she agrees to keep the place clean, but is not willing to make major repairs or improvements. This agreement-to provide short term care as long as it’s worth the effort-is based on the following beliefs:

1. Romantic relationships require a certain amount of give and take, but its only right for me if what I take is worth what I give. Someone who is right for me today can be wrong for me tomorrow. The person may be what I need in one stage of my life, but not what I need in another so my romantic relationships should be considered temporary. If what I take isn’t worth what I give, either my partner should give me more, or I should end the relationship to find someone who can give me what I need.

2. If I am in a romantic relationship with someone who criticizes me, it does not mean that my partner is wrong for me if I can make the necessary changes. But my change should only be made if what I get from my partner is worth the effort.

3. If I am in a romantic relationship and my partner expects me to sacrifice my own happiness to meet my partners needs in return for what my partner has done for me, that is a reasonable expectation. And if I feel I am getting less than I deserve it’s reasonable for me to expect my partner to sacrifice some happiness for my fulfillment.

If you are reading that and shaking your head in agreement, then you are a Relationship Renter. There is nothing “wrong” with being a Renter in a relationship. If you are happy being single for life, or happy with the idea of having two, three, or four different serious relationships and/or marriages for the different stages of your life, then continue to Rent. But if you are truly seeking one lifelong partner, know that all your relationships are ultimately doomed to fail with the Renter mentality. The statistics speak for themselves: 50% of all first marriages fail. 67% of all second marriages fail. The third time is not a charm because 74% of third marriages fail. These statistics come from www.divorcerate.org

Getting back to Priscilla and the quandry most of the single entertainers I know face: the insecure man who gives you a job ultimatum is simply a Relationship Renter. Renters regularly evaluate how fair their relationship is, making sure the levels of effort and sacrifice are even. If Renters feel they are giving more than they are getting, they feel justified in demanding more for themselves to balance the scales. When their demands are unmet, it often leads to fights and ultimatums.

Keep in mind, the Renters’ willingness to sacrifice and expect sacrifice somes from the assumption that the relationship is temporary. They are not thinking about long term solutions to problems but rather about short-term fixes. Thus, the guy who is willing to sacrifice his Madonna/Whore complex to casually or exclusively date a stripper…ultimately expects as much of a sacrifice back in order for the relationship to be fair.

The big question for the SuperStripper: are you willing to sacrifice your income, livelihood, and lifestyle for someone who assumes your relationship is temporary?

Buy it for 80 cents

I am working on the Psychology of a SuperStripper portion of Dancerwealth this week, so instead of funny strip club stories and musings, my posts are a bit deeper in nature this week.

One of my very first posts on this blog in April 2007 was entitled Strip Clubs Satisfy Men’s Emotional Needs Once again, if you haven’t read it, please do before proceeding.

I deeply respect Dr. Willard Harley’s work. I have most of his books, and routinely recommend his website www.marrriagebuilders.comto anyone who is experiencing difficulty in their relationships. His advice makes sense, and calls upon an individual’s self-determinism rather than “fate” to solve his/her relationship issues. His work has clearly defined what I need out of my own personal relationships and explains why the strip club industry is so massively profitable.

I came across today a description of The Electric Fence Personality while I was perusing articles on Harley’s site. It is detailed in his book Buyers, Renters, and Freeloaders. Although I personally don’t have it in my libarary, I added it to the StripandGrowRich Bookstore and ordered it for myself. It was a whooping 80 cents.

It it is my opinion that the reason many of my co-workers and frequent strip club patrons have a difficult time with their personal relationships is because they have the Electric Fence Personality.

People with the Electric Fence
personality walk down the road of life with an electric fence on each side of the road. And
they are faced with a serious disadvantage — the stroll is at night, the flashlight they use
to look ahead is very dim, and the road takes sharp turns. That makes it difficult for them
to see the electric fence, and they often stumble into it. As long as these people are on the
path, they are usually very happy and optimistic about life. But, when they touch the
fence they get a rude shock, and will do anything to get off of it and back onto the path.
Once back on the path, they are happy again.

Referring back to my definition of personalities, you can predict the behavior of an electric
fence personality when they touch their electric fence — they do whatever they can to back
away from it. If you seem to be pushing them onto the fence, they will fly into a rage in
an effort to escape, because it’s so painful. They usually don’t know where the fence is
located because of the path’s sharp turns, and their dim flashlight, so they are stumbling
onto it quite regularly, and expressing anger whenever it happens.

Once off the fence, however, they usually return to a very happy state, and try to forget the
incident. Since the path takes sharp turns, they give up hope of learning from the past
experience, because the fence will be somewhere else next time. So they figure it’s best to
just forget the whole thing.

These people have very little insight into what makes them happy and sad. That’s why Iuse the analogy of the dim flashlight and sharp turns in the path. When I have a client
with such a personality, I often seem to understand their likes and dislikes better
than they do themselves, because my flashlight seems to be brighter than theirs. I
remember what their last electric fence looked like, and the next one looks very similar.
Their lack of insight makes them very impulsive and great risk-takers because they don’t
seem to learn from their past painful experiences. But their lack of memory of failure also
makes them very optimistic and cheerful, as long as they are in the middle of their
pathway.

Someone with an electric fence personality is often joined by others on his or her path.
Those people are not effected by that individual’s electric fence. So they can wander off
and on the pathway, through the individual’s electric fence, and remain unscathed. They
will often encourage the person to follow them, but once the electric fence is touched, he
or she cannot follow. If they try to force the person to follow, he or she usually flies into
a rage because the shock of the electric fence is so painful.

Obviously, the way to get along with someone with an electric fence personality is to
follow them on their path, because they cannot usually follow you on yours. These electric
fence people may seem very selfish and uncompromising, but you would behave the same
way if you had an electric fence to prevent you from going just anywhere on the path of
life.

People with electric fence personalities have a terrible time with rules, because rules often
lead them into their fences. As children they have trouble with authority for the same
reason. At first, they try to follow rules and obey authority, but the pain of the electric
fence is so great that they soon learn to be a rule unto themselves, and they ignore what
others tell them to do. Abandoning rules, in turn, usually leads them into all kinds of
trouble, and many of these people end up in prison.

People with electric fence personalities are also very likely to divorce. Since they have
such difficulty adjusting to someone else, they usually marry someone who happens to be
on their path for a while. But when that person leaves the path, it’s much to painful to
follow, so they divorce and move on to a relationship with someone else on their path.

As you might expect, people with electric fence personalities also tend to have affairs after
marriage, again, because the ones they marry usually leave their comfortable pathway.
They are the ones that originated the saying, if you can’t be with the one you love, love the
one you’re with. So when a spouse leaves their pathway, they switch to whomever will
walk with them on their pathway next.
People with electric fence
personalities learn from early childhood to be dishonest because that helps keep them off
the fence. When their parents tell them to do something that will make unhappy, they
don’t do it. Instead, they lie about it and say they did. Or, when their parents tell them
not to do something that would keep them on their path, they do it anyway, and say they
didn’t. They get into the habit of being dishonest, because honesty gets them into so much
trouble.

However,there’s nothing in the electric fence personality that prevents you from being honest. In fact, you
probably want to be honest. People I counsel with electric fence personalities usually tell
me anything I want to know about them because they understand that I won’t try to make
them do anything. If you could be honest without the risk of being dragged into the
electric fence, you would be honest too.

As I was writing/recording the Psychology of Stripping Chapter for Dancerwealth.com I perused my own blog archives. If you haven’t read the August 2007 post entitled Exploiting the Madonna/Whore Complex, please read it before continuing.

Did you HONESTLY read it….or re-read it….

OK Good….

I wrote that a year and a half ago. I started thinking about that post on Saturday night as I was driving home from Babe’s Cabaret. I spent the last hour of the evening signed out in VIP with a very charming RED personality who was the CFO of a major insurance company (no not the one with the big announcement today) We were talking about how I was married, and how he could never be in a serious relationship with “a stripper.” I hear this all the time. If I sold cars, real estate, jewelry, or overpriced Chinese-manufactured clothing at Bebe, my sales job would not be an issue. However, for some reason the rules completely change when the product/service I sell is lapdances and champagne hours.

So KUDOS to all the self-determined stripperhusbands/boyfriends/significantothers who made the conscious decision to cast away their own madonna/whore complex. It truly does take a unique individual to date/marry a successful entertainer. He/She must have the self confidence to know their partner will be professional at work, unfazed by tempting propositions, and always home on time. Moreover, that person will have to stand up to the “slut branding” by his buddies when “the hot stripper he’s fooling around with” becomes more than someone he’s just fooling around with.

“May someone love you enough to forgive your faults, be blind to your blemishes, and tell the world your virtues.”