So, my definition of the Madonna/Whore Complex:
Men classify all women into one of only two categories: either evil sexual temptress, or good and pure saint; a woman has to be one or the other.
Furthermore, men have a desire for a woman who is experienced in the bedroom and unashamed of showing sexual prowess (“whore”), but at the same time desire a woman who is wholesome, clean and nuturing (“madonna”), particularly enough to not be branded a “slut” by his peers. This leads to him marrying an inexperienced woman, but yearning for and even fulfilling sexual trysts with other, more sexually gratifying women.
So where did the Madonna/Whore complex come from?
There are three widely accepted theories of behavior that explain the nature of man. Genetic determinism says your family and DNA did it. Have you ever met someone who claims their short temper is because “I’m Italian/Hispanic/Brazilian.” Psychic determinism made popular by Sigmund Freud says that your parents did it to you. Environmental determinism says society, culture, your bitchy exwife, your bratty teenager, or something in your environment causes you to act the way that you do.
I think the Madonna/Whore Complex is due to having a large population of sexually frustrated people (both men AND women) who were raised to believe that sexual activity or just being sexy is a dirty and shameful act. This seemingly conflicting desire runs rampant in a puritanistic society like America, where both men and women have been led to believe that women have to either be complete prudes or totally promiscuous.
This is especially true in the Bible Belt where religious conservatives are a social majority. I have noticed that the contact levels at strip clubs in several major metropolitan Bible Belt Cities like Memphis, Houston, New Orleans, and Atlanta are much higher than the contact levels in more liberal states.
Now, an astute reader familiar with the three theories of determinism might say: Avalon you started off by saying you don’t believe in behaviorism, how can you blame the Madonna/Whore complex on our puritan society?
Well, I think that we are conditioned by society, but it’s ultimately up to the individual to decide if he/she is going to be determined by it. Individuals who never venture beyond their tightly knit enclaves of like-minded people tend to be more succeptible to environmental determinism. Individuals who leave the nest and experience other cultures (a 7 day cruise to the Carribbean doesn’t count) tend to have a greater ability to create their own self determinism.
In my ten years of entertaining men in gentlemen’s clubs, I have come across a legion of American men who suffer from the Madonna/Whore complex. It fascinates me. And I exploit it.
Sometimes I use it to control Octopusman’s many tentacles: “Honey, do you have a daughter? Would you like it if a man your age didn’t follow her directions to grope only the chair?” Then I collect my $20 and walk away.
On stage I play the role of the seductive temptress who slowly strips off elaborate rhinestone encrusted costumes, bares everything down to a g-string and six inch stilettos, then rolls around in piles of cash for 6 carefully choreographed minutes. As soon as my 2nd song ends I collect my tips and walk hand-in-hand with the next entertainer to the front of the stage.
Most of the time though, I sit in VIP and counsel the legions of men who suffer from this self-inflicted disease (for a $300/hour+). “I don’t know why I’m here, I never go to these kinds of places, I don’t want you to think I’m a scumbag, you don’t have to dance, just talk to me. My wife hasn’t slept with me in 6 months, what should I do?” These are the ones who are unhappy with their pristine Madonna at home; but would never stoop so far as to “cheat” on her. I love these guys. They are the bread and butter of the strip club industry.
Of course there are some strip club customers who aren’t quite so pleasant. There is an unfortunate seedy element to some strip clubs that I choose to ignore. Some customers ARE misogynists who do cheat on their Madonna-wife because they can only get off when they are with a “whore.” These are the types that come to strip clubs looking for a “whore” to grope, proposition, and disrespect. Part of being a SuperStripper is having the tools to weed out these types right away, and to NEVER do anything that is not within your own personal beliefs and values.
We teach all of this and more at SuperStripper Bootcamp to empower women in the gentlemen’s club industry to take control of their lives.
Tags: dancerwealth, exotic dancer, how much money does a stripper make, psychology, strip club, stripper school
[Of course there are some strip club customers who aren’t quite so pleasant. There is an unfortunate seedy element to some strip clubs that I choose to ignore. Some customers ARE misogynists who do cheat on their Madonna-wife because they can only get off when they are with a “whore.” These are the types that come to strip clubs looking for a “whore” to grope, proposition, and disrespect. Part of being a SuperStripper is having the tools to weed out these types right away, and to NEVER do anything that is not within your own personal beliefs and values.]
So let’s get this right….overly horny customers looking to cop a feel = bad/”seedy”.
Taking advantage of emotionally fragile married men for $300/hr = good and not seedy.
Neither stripper or horn dog molesting customer are saints…
so don’t throw stones in glass houses.
[I think the Madonna/Whore Complex is due to having a large population of sexually frustrated people (both men AND women) who were raised to believe that sexual activity or just being sexy is a dirty and shameful act. This seemingly conflicting desire runs rampant in a puritanistic society like America, where both men and women have been led to believe that women have to either be complete prudes or totally promiscuous.
This is especially true in the Bible Belt where religious conservatives are a social majority.]
Your last words were “NEVER do anything that is not within your own personal beliefs and values”… if that’s what their values or beliefs are…then let them take your own advice and not go against their beliefs.
p.s.
nice ta-tas.