If you haven’t been checking out the Fun Stuff Page, or following my Facebook or Twitter…you have been missing the proliferation of mainstream newsmedia articles regarding the influx of desperate cash-strapped women to the industry.
As a result, I have gotten a lot of emails from women who want to know, “What is the absolute WORST thing that could happen to me if I decide to become a stripper?” I usually send them to this blogpost that I wrote way back in the earliest days of my blog, entitled The Weirdest Thing That Ever Happened to Me at a Strip Club. For all you newcomers, my original blog is located on Myspace. I didn’t transfer the comments when I republished the blog here at StripandGrowRich, but you can search for it using the date in the myspace sidebar if you want to read the comments.
This is the Second Weirdest Thing that Ever Happened to Me at a Strip Club:
It was 2002 and summertime in San Francisco. I was working at the Hustler Club just off Broadway Avenue. My partner in crime at the time was a petite dirty blonde (the hair color) stage-named Alicia. We actually met at a Gold Club audition when I first moved to San Fran. She got hired, I didn’t (back then you HAD to have fake boobs or be a size 4 to get hired most places) But, we were both from Philly, exchanged phone numbers, and kept in touch since we had both just moved to the city and neither of us had any friends. I got hired at Boys Toys, now known as Broadway Showgirls and she worked at The Gold Club for a few months. When Hustler had it’s Grand Opening in February 2002, we teamed up and made a lot of money together selling champagne rooms. This was before I took the original DancerWealth course in Las Vegas, and she was a good mentor to me.
Getting back to the story: we sold a half-hour champagne room to two old buddies Ed and Ned. If you’ve never been to the Hustler Club, the VIP area is adjacent to the bar and enclosed in glass. It is an open room, with several couches. The first odd thing was that our two guys sat down on the same couch next to each other, even though the room was empty. Alicia and I just shrugged and accomodated them…the customer is always right, eh? Ed and Ned were very well behaved as we double-danced for them. Again, for newbies: the double dance is when (usually) two girls dance for one guy to fulfill his fantasy of a threesome. Ironically, due to space constraints and the outnumbering 2 to 1 ratio, double dances usually have less contact. In this case it was the two of us dancing on the same couch for two guys, and every few songs we would just switch off.
About 3 songs into the half-hour, Alicia and I turned around and realized that Ed and Ned were totally making out with each other! They blushed when they realized we were staring…the shocked look on our faces must have been a sight to see!
“Oh we grew up here in the 60′s…we are comfortable with our sexuality,” Ned said.
“And so are our wives,” Ed added.
So, after nine and a half years of stripping…those are the two weirdest situations I can recall. Anyone want to share theirs?
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Tags: champagne room, customer, hustler club, san francisco, strip club, vip room
I think the weirdest thing that ever happened to me in a strip club happened in New Orleans, which would make sense, since that city is weird even to begin with. I was down at the Deja Vu, working Mardi Gras, and it was a Monday of the week prior to the big parades and celebrations. It was a rather slow night, and I had been talking to a really young man who was stationed there with the military. He was nice enough, but broke, and kept pressuring me to meet him outside the club, so when a couple walked in I immediately went to sit down with them. From how they were behaving and what they ordered, I could tell they were pretty tipsy already. They were obviously swingers, but still, nice enough and I sat with them for a good peroid of time, as they were tipping me well onstage and there was really no one else to sit with (besides military boy). Eventually they both looked at me and said “We have a bet placed and you have to help us to see who wins.” I was confused but said “Well, ok…?” The man gave me 30 bucks to go dance with his woman, and we walked over the the lapdance booths right in front of the DJ area. As we settled into our booth, I asked the lady if the bet was about my boobs (they look fake but are real, and I get a lot of men betting on the topic after seeing me on stage). She said, no, and then proceeded to sit back and the song came on and I started dancing for her.
Now this is where it gets weird…She starts making all these noises and throwing herself around and thrasing against the sides of the booth. I didn’t really know what to do, so I kept dancing and eventually she grabbed my hand and stuck it on her throat. I FINALLY got that she wanted me to choke her while dancing for her. I also noticed that she was touching herself, and while this kinda freaked me out, I again, didn’t really know what to do and didn’t want to start a scene being somewhat new to the club. Also, had it been a guy, I would have IMMEDIATELY said something, but I felt less threatened by the woman and I also knew that the bouncers there, being somewhat of the jerks they were, wouldn’t probably do anything but watch. So my hand is on this girl’s throat and she just wants me to choke her hard–and I didn’t want to, cuz I didn’t want to kill her or something or make her black out, so I’m squeezing and she keeps saying HARDER HARDER, so I squeeze harder and hope to GOD the song is going to end…and FINALLY then it does. She gets up, straightens her nice floral dress, adjusts her pearls (she was a laywer), and got up, hugged me, kissed me on the cheek, and said that she had won the bet (which was, apparently, that she could make me choke her while dancing for her). She gave me $100 bucks and said that that was the money she had bet her husband and that since I had done what she wanted, I deserved it. I felt weird but I took it and figured I deserved it since I was completely weirded out at that point.
Later on in the evening, they both took me up the champagne rooms and we ended up spending the whole night together. They really dug me, probably because I didn’t scream and run away LOL. They ended up tipping me a lot more than $100 and made my Mardi Gras. When the topic of how they met came up in a conversation, the answer went something like this: they met at a gangbang where one of them was fluffing and the other having sex. TOTALLY WERID. But hey I guess it takes all types….
The second weirdest thing that happened to me at a strip club happened in Kansas City, MO. I was working at the Shady Lady, one of the oldest strip clubs in town, and it was indeed shady. It was (and probably still is) owned by the mafia and is basically a front to launder money. Anyways, I was working and this old farmer looking man comes in and sits down right next to the stage. I was dancing at the time, and there weren’t many other customers around, so I did all these special moves right in front of him. He looks a little weird–like he’s not really all there, and there are all these weird mole things all over his face and he’s in these coveralls, with LITERALLY pieces of corn stuck to them. He also smelled like cow manure. So I’m dancing in front of him, he stands up, walks forward, and as he’s doing so, he I guess doesn’t see the stage and walks right into it (it was about shin high) and falls forward, with the $100 he was tipping me (THANKS MAN!) stretched out towards my crotch. He was JUST THE RIGHT heighth to where when he lurched forward he fell RIGHT INTO MY CROTCH. EWW! Luckily the club was only topless, but still, I ended up falling on MY ass and landing with this dude’s head right in between my legs! BUT WAIT–it gets worse. So he’s laying there, corn pieces and all, and I try to get up to move him, but he’s totally passed OUT. Out COLD. The bouncer comes over to help me move him off the stage and as he’s moving him, the bouncer says “I don’t think this man has a pulse”. I start to FREAK OUT, and sure enough, the man died of a heart attack IN the club, tipping me. I was the LAST THING he saw, the last thing he thought about. They called the ambulance, ect, but he was pronouced dead on the spot. It was all over the news, and his family was all upset since they were really hardcore farmer christian types.
That club also was the club I had a gun pulled on me after I asked some gangbanger to pay for the dances I had just given him AND the club where I was chased with a broken beer bottle by a VERY visibly pregnant stripper in club attire up and down the street in front of the club. Suffice to say, I was VERY happy to quit and to move on to better things!
Wow…I suddenly feel so inexperienced!
One of the strangest things that ever happened to me in a club was this guy in Phoenix. He came in on a slow night and tipped me pretty well on stage, which was nice because Christie’s isn’t much of a stage tip club. I sat with him once I got down and after some friendly banter offered a dance. He accepted, but wanted to go down into “the pit” for privacy. This usually meant that the customer wanted to touch the girl and I told him that dances were $20 down there. He accepts and we begin. Now, it’s summer time so the thin gym shorts and t-shirt were no suprise, but as soon as he got excited, his little mister begins decending it’s way down his leg until it’s practically winking at me. He says, “Do you like that, hmmmm?” And I never know what to say to these things to I just mumble, “Mmmmmm.” Then he proceeds to tell me about how he always goes to this oriental massage place in town where he gets the “happy ending”, but instead of just cumming, he likes to have the masseurs lift his legs over his head so that he can cum in his mouth. No, I’m all about sexuality and expressing your own personal version, but he was soooooo excited to tell me about it. Like he was in love with his own cock. I asked him why he didn’t just have his wife do it for him and he said she wouldn’t understand. When we were finished he paid me and I asked him what he did for a living. “Oh, I’m a gym techer at ****** Elementary.” Er, ew? “I’m so glad my son is home schooled!!” I thought to myself.
I accept that this isn’t some stinky old farmer dying in my crotch….I don’t think anything beats that….but there was this one story that Avalon told me once about a foriegn guy, Indian I think, standing by the bathroom with an empty beer bottle….
Melbourne. Spearmint Rhino. Another dancer managed to convince ‘her’ customer to take us both for a dance. She forewarned me he is an armpit sniffer. He had an armpit fetish.
I would love to re count something weird but … I’m jaded now. Nothing is weird to me anymore. It all seems so vanilla now. I realise everyone has fetishes, and that they are just ‘normal’ now that everyone has a fetish.
As for “worst” things that can happen which have happened to me:
* Be ripped off by a club
* Becoming jaded (refer to my comment above in re fetishes being ‘normal’ to me now)
* Becoming a man hater (it was only a phase for me however some women do turn lesbian)
* Guys ‘cumming’ in their pants and/or pulling out their penis
* Being molested (touched between the legs)
* Guys using their strength to ‘force’ you to dance a certain way + feeling powerless
and so on and so forth.
I really really wish I had a better story than Mr Armpit Sniffer. Damnit.
I had a ‘cheek’ fetish guy the other night. He wanted to feel my cheeks. No, not even my butt cheeks… the ones on my face.
My fave are the foot fetishists. I love getting paid to RECIEVE a massage haha.