I posed this question today on Twitter:
Is going to the strip club considered cheating in your relationship?
I had to add that last part. There is no right or wrong answer to this question, because every relationship is based upon different mutually acceptable agreements.
I have customers ask me from time to time, “I don’t think I’m cheating on her by being here…do you?”
My response is always, “Whose opinion matters more to you, mine or your wife’s?”
In my marriage, me going to the strip club is not cheating. I don’t go to the strip club with the intention of flirting with other men for attention or affection. If my spouse goes to the strip club, has a few beers, and gets a few dances, I don’t consider that cheating either….but I do get peeved when the tab starts creeping above a certain dollar figure.
Nevertheless, even though it’s not “cheating”…I would be lying if I said that being a stripper didn’t have an effect on my marriage. That is a pretty loose statement on purpose. Lots of things can have an effect on relationships: having children, not having children, addiction, rehabilitation, accidents, illnesses, promotions, job losses, gambling, conflict management, abuse, etc.
I’d love to hear your thoughts….
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This one’s easy…
No activity can be cheating except lying. Lying is cheating.
Any action taken while one’s spouse or SO has the understanding, either communicated or assumed, that the action will NOT be taken is cheating. This can be sex, strip club visitation, smoking a cigarette, buying a tv or going out to lunch.
I don’t believe one should every cheat. One should be honest about what they are doing. If their spouse can’t live with what they are doing, then that needs to be worked out, one way or another. But doing it behind their backs is weak and cowardly and there’s no excuse for it.
-gen
Thanks for the feedback GenWar, glad to see you!
It’s not cheating in my book. However, I like that you reply with …’whose opinion do you value….mine or your wife’s?”
That’s the key…as you said, each relationship has different tolerance levels.
Hey Kim! I missed the Wildhorse Ranch Rescue this year. We had some good times! Thanks for the comment! There were a lot more on the myspace publication of this blog entry http://blog.myspace.com/azavalon
A great blog post. Thank you