is what my husband has said about his parents, our neighbors, and anyone who knows me from my “real life.” I agree to a certain extent, but as I am preparing this carefully timed mass media marketing campaign…I’m pretty sure there are going to be some pretty surprised people who find out what I’ve really been up to the past 10 years.
Will they treat me differently? Are they going to think bad things about me? Will they start whispering behind my back?
Probably. But it’s not stopping me.
As I mature I can take many different vantage points of a situation. On the one hand, I agree that there are some people out there that just can’t handle the truth. For example, if I ever aspired to run for public office…well….anywhere other than Las Vegas…my SuperStripper past would probably ruin my chances of winning.
However, most of the time the person saying those words really means, “I’m too lazy to deal with the drama it will cause if I am honest” So instead of dealing with a situation honestly; they withhold information, tell half truths, or out and out lie to make things easier for themselves. This selfish strategy works for a little while…but only makes the situation worse when you eventually have to fess up or you get caught in your half-truth.
It was a lot easier for me to tell my family the half truth that I worked “at a bar.” As I found out last summer, Mom really could handle the truth. My selfishness and dishonesty actually hurt her more than the truth about my profession.
So who are you telling half-truths to? Can that person really not handle the truth or is your own selfish agenda getting in the way of you doing the right thing?
Tags: philosophy, psychology, relationships, sociology, stripper, stripper lifestyle, stripping
Well, in my case, my parents will not handle any of my current lifestyle well…they’ve already come out as saying they are NOT approving of my living with my boyfriend of 7+ years, and so I know they wouldn’t like anything else I’m doing right now….but it’s not something that I feel they need to know about..it’s my life and I’m not hurting them by the way I live it, so I feel us all ignoring the elephant in the room is working out okay lol
I have a very open, honest relationship with my mom and I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep it from her for long. Not only because I would feel guilty about it, but because she knows when I’m up to something and trying to hide it. But more so, I knew she could handle it and would love me regardless. My dad…well…that’s another story. I have no idea what his first reaction was, but let’s just say I don’t openly discuss it with him like I do my mom. I know he’s totally embarassed by his “black sheep” daughter.
In most of my relationships-close or not, real or not so real-I have a policy of utmost honesty. I find it easier (though at times it may be hard) to hold the honesty is the best policy lifestyle rather than lie. I don’t like to be lied to, and I don’t intend on doing it to save face. Its taken me a long time, but I just don’t care what societal norms people expect me to adhere to. I make a point of NOT adhering to them because most of them are senseless.
I am so proud of you for telling your mother about your job last year! As for the past hurting your future, I think everyone has a few things here or there like that. It’s not as if it is impossible to obtain positions like public office with dancing in a person’s background, we’ve already seen dancers hold public office, but it does seem to make the public think twice before voting.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with your lifestyle and those who love you will understand that you are doing this to make a decent living and provide for your future. I admit my family wasn’t accepting at first and try as they might they don’t truly understand this job unless they have been involved in the industry ( the goodness for a hubby who used to be a bouncer) but you have to pick your audience and luckily your mother understands and loves you. You are an inspiration for so many including myself and if your family knew all that you have done they would be proud. Keep up the great work, the site looks great.
[...] Good day! great blog -it interesting 482.[...]
Very interesting Blog. Great job. My family is having a huge drama because my sisters daughter, my niece, just came out as being employed as an exotic dancer. As long as she is safe and happy — who am I to judge? As her Uncle, I only wish her life to be healthy, happy and safe. Her mom & the rest of the family do not feel as I do and are being VERY hard on her. What they would normally say is fine and morally OK for anyone else, is not for their own daughter who is 22 and lives on her own. I understand having feelings as a mom, being afraid, etc. However, the actions and judgment of the family is simply pushing her further away. The real issue is the family is afraid of what other people will think.
Sad, her mother actually said she wished it had been drugs… The father said she shamed the family. We are in most ways a very liberal family.. I thought so anyway… I wish I knew the right words to get through to them to not be so hard on her before they loose her altogether.