Good things come to those who work their a$$ off….
Babe’s was steady all night long with Iggles Fans. I even resurrected my accent to trigger their Friendship Hot Button. I never had a very thick Philly accent, but at times water comes out “wood-er” and the plural of you is “yous” or “yous guys.”
Met a bunch of guys who drove down from Vegas to watch the Iggles play. Also ran into a guy who was the bouncer at Mr. J’s in Orange County. He was “too cool” to buy a dance. C’mon…just because you worked in the industry at some point doesn’t mean you’re too cool to purchase the service that once supported your own livelihood.
I was freshening up in the locker room when I overheard the cocktail waitress tipping off another dancer: “Go to the two guys in a white shirts by the stage. The one just opened a tab with a black AmEx card.”
“Oooooh…..okaaay…I’m just going to finish doing curling this piece of hair…..and….I have to go to the bathroom….” the lazy entertainer said.
So…this SuperStripper walked straight out of the dressing room, found the guy in a white shirt sitting by the stage, and said, “Hi, I should fill your empty lap, huh?”
“Absolutely, we’ve been watching you since we got here.” Panda replied.
Sweet! Panda is in town for Barrett-Jackson from Dallas. He’s a self-proclaimed “Strip Club Connoisseur” with VIP memberships to The Lodge and Spearmint Rhinos. We instantly hit it off.
“I love strippers” he said.
“Cool, I love money!” I joked back.
“We’re a perfect match then.” he said.
His friend came back from the couches and Panda said, “I know you wanted this one, but I’m going to keep her.”
I got called to stage. “Can I buy you off?” Panda asked.
Of course you can! VIP was full at the time. Babe’s only have 3 tables in the VIP area. So we had to wait a bit for Kayla the VIP Hostess to clear out the table who didn’t want to buy another bottle of champagne. Panda and I did a few couch dances.
“Why do I always get the strippers don’t dance and just talk?” he joked.
“Because that’s what you WANT silly! You get back what you attract.” I responded.
“You got me. The mind is the sexiest part of a woman’s body.” Panda responded. As soon as the VIP section cleared out, the four of us moved back there. Panda was treating his client, who picked out Alexis, a gorgeous brunette.
About 45 minutes after buying me offstage, and joking that I haven’t really danced for him, Panda says, “I want to see you onstage.”
“Oh, my stage show sucks.” I tell him. Its true. I can’t dance. I can’t spin on the pole. I pretty much walk back and forth, smile and strike a pose.
“I know. I want to see you work though. Lets make it rain.” Panda handed Kayla two Franklins to exchange for 200 Washingtons. DJ Billy cued Panama. Kayla threw one stack of Washingtons into the air, as soon as they were done fluttering to the ground Panda threw the other. Then all the cheesy people at the stage-side tables grabbed the singles that fluttered onto their table, and held them up one at a time as though it was their dollar. It will be interesting to see how much of the 200 actually ends up in the tip bucket. The floormen help me sweep the stage, and I move over to Stage Two. There was another VIP table there tipping Lincolns and Hamiltons. After my one song on that stage I had two Hamiltons, and six Lincolns in my g-string. Not a bad take for 6 minutes of walking back and forth, smiling and striking a pose.
The four of us closed the bar down in VIP. He’s going to the Iggles Game, but should be back in tonight before he heads to Colorado to ski for the week.
As I cashed out my VIP funny money, the manager handed me my cashed in Washingtons from the stage rain: $201 I KNEW those posers by the stage weren’t using their own money to tip me!
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