Diary of the Fiesta Bowl Stripper Day 1


Since Babes has FREE HOUSE FEES I didn’t have to bust my tail to be clocked in by 7:59.  So while I got ready Mr V. cooked me lean pork chops and asparagus for dinner (bite your tongue Makenzie, I’m NOT Vegan and love protein!!)

8:30pm: Already Wasted Girl in the lockerroom slurrs, “I don’t remember your name but your my new best friend……I remember when I started at Christies and you were the only one who was nice to me…..” trip, fall on the floor, “ow”  Who is she?  I’ve never seen her before in my life.

8:45pm: Scan my fingerprint and alert management and DJ Billy that “King David” will be stopping in tonight.  I’ve known “King David” since Jan 2005.  He was building several of the area’s hospitals and was always entertaining his clients at CCP in 2005 and 2006.  “King David” also works out at my gym and takes my yoga class occasionally.  I ran into him on the treadmill Saturday morning, and since he hadn’t seen DJ Billy for a few months said he would stop in Saturday Night after his car show.

I was pleasantly surprised.  The floor was busy, people were tipping, and half of the $20 couches were  being used.

10pm: First wave of after dinner  customers  begins to roll in.  I met four middle-aged guys in golf shirts from New Jersey, a table of five guys from Texas in town for the Fiesta Bowl, a table of four guys from New Mexico in town for a car show (same one King David was at) and four guys from Michigan here for golf.

10:15: Charlie grabs my hand, “I need you!”  She is another CCP-expatriot.  She too got fired after 9 years of independent contractor pseudo-loyalty because she got caught working one shift at Babes.  Already Wasted Girl is draped over one of the Michigan Golf guys, who looks at me and says, ” I think she needs some help”  In no time, one of the security guys is carrying her to the back.  I still can’t figure out who she is….  We close a bottle deal and move the four golf guys from Michigan back to VIP.

11:15: Three guys sit down at the table next to us in VIP.  They don’t have girls yet.  I make eye contact with the one and he beckons me over.  “Dance for my friend here, he’s never been west of the Mississippi”  I wasn’t quite sure what their plans were.  Most people don’t go to VIP, buy a bottle of champagne, and sit there without girls.  Right as I was finishing my three dances, I got called to stage and the first guy hands me a Franklin.  “Come back”

11:25: I went back.  Duh.  Bob the money guy was entertaining his friends from Ohio.  He doesn’t go to strip clubs very often because he prefers “Lifestyle Clubs” instead.  He hadn’t had a lapdance in over 15 years, so he said.  I sold him three.  He said he be back in two weeks for Barrett Jackson.

11:45: The floormen takes me to a table of two couples.  Usually couples need time to settle in, but they were ready for dances.  Babes is such a tiny club, that I could feel all the guys from the surrounding tables watch me dance for the hot trophy wife from Dallas.  Nevertheless, the energy level of the club was high.  People were catcalling, and rowdy, and it was the first time, in a LONG time, that I was selling table dance after table dance on the floor and having fun.

Midnight: I hear DJ Billy’s voice, “King David is in the house!”  King David is a small-time Phoenix whale.   A drop in the bucket compared to some of the spenders I have seen in Vegas, but he has no problem expense accounting “business meetings” at the strip club.  Tonight though he was alone, and really just checking the place out.  I wanted him to feel welcome so I introduced him to the management and staff.  He nodded his head.  I could tell he liked it. “Older crowd than Skin, and better music too because of Billy.  After eating dinner in Scottsdale, no one wants to drive to downtown Phoenix anymore.”  King David hangs out for a bit at the bar.  He knows Eddie the bartender from his Skin Days too.

1am: Power Hour.  It fills up once again to capacity.  All new people.  I LOVE it!  There was a table of late 50s-early 60s men and women seated by the stage.  Ginger (real name) has never been to a strip club before.  She is a typical wealthy AZ snowbird: oversized chunky jewelry, fake boobs, and tan leathery skin “Oh, I think this is wonderful!  You girls are all so pretty!”  Their attention was focused on the stage and  I didn’t peg Ginger, or any of the other Social Security-ites at the table,  as lapdance candidates.

1:15am: Already Wasted Girl appears on stage.  To Highway to Hell, she gets down on all fours and viciously whips her mane of blonde hair around and around and around in a wild circle.  Then she leans back, makes two devil horns with her index fingers over her head, and sticks her tongue out at the patrons stageside while loudly shreiking, “Whoa!  Ow!  Yeah Baby!”  OHHHHHH!  That girl!  I remember her from CCP now…..

1:30am: I did peg the Bachelorless Party as lapdance candidates though. Apparently the Bachelor didn’t want to come inside.  So he sat out in the parking lot while the rest of his friends went inside.  I don’t get it….but at least I picked the right one to sell a dance to: the divorcee who just made partner in his law firm!  I took him to the couches and it turns out we had a lot in common: Both from PA, both went to school in DC, both lived in LA.  Small world.  Once again, stripper economic theory number 375 was in effect: a half hour of $20 Dollar Dances yields more profit than a half hour of  $10 dances!

2 am Closing time.  Already Wasted Girl’s purse with her money in it is open on the makeup bar.  She is no where to be found. Then she comes into the locker room and due to special request, gets down on all fours and models her head spinning technique, complete with sound effects, “Whoa!  Yeah!  Oh Baby!”  We tell her that she left her purse with her money out in the open on the makeup ledge.  “Gosh, I’m such a dummy!  And no one stole it?  That’s awesome”

Fiesta Bowl Sunday is a not-to-be-missed shift.

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