10PM Update: I love Southwest Airlines. I was able to roll my existing flight to my May trip for no extra cost, no change fee, no service charge. That’s the way it should be!
For my friend Got2 who enjoys the silly strip club quotes:
45yo heavyset White Trash lady: (wagging folded Washington at my stage) Muh husband wants to watch meee put mah face in yur tits (leaning forward and placing folded Washington in her mouth)
Avalon: (briskly plucking the Washington from 45yo heavyset White Trash lady’s mouth with my hand) Thanks! Maybe later! (turning to NegativeSteve whispering not!)
….2 hours later… 40yo White Trash Lady wildly waving her arms to flag me down….
KahunaKid: (grabbing my arm and leading me to another table) You’re Welcome
Matt Damon:(greeting customer who just walked in the door) Hello Sir…Can I show you to a table?
Discombobulated Customer: Noooo…I think…I think I’ll just sit at the bar (begins walking the wrong way)
Matt Damon: Sir the bar is this way
Discombobulated Customer: Oh uh no thanks…I’m going to be going soon.
Matt Damon: You…just…got here sir.
Discombobulated Customer: Huh?
Matt Damon: You just paid your 8 bucks to get in…and you’re still standing at the door. Can I show you to a table?
NCAA Basketball Fan: I won 20 grand tonite! Woo hoo!
Avalon: Awesome, lets go spend it upstairs!
70s Porn Mustache Guy: I want you to give my friend the best lapdance EVER!
Avalon: OK (about to begin my VIP upsell)
70s Porn Mustache Guy: Dances are ten dollars right….here’s twelve….go give him the ride of his life! ShaZam! (He really did say Shazam)
DJ Clusterfuck: All ladies GARBLE GARBLE dressing room GARBLE GARBLE Feature GARBLE next!
Avalon: Oh, hear that (pointing upstairs)….I have to go to the dressing room….I’ll find you later!
NegativeSteve: Its so packed in here tonight, all the girls I know are busy with guys with more zeros floating over their heads than me! Overall, (gesturing to the big screen tv) this is the most expensive episode of Sports Center that I’ve ever seen
DJ Clusterfuck: GARBLE GARBLE GARBLE GARBLE
NegativeSteve: Let me guess….that’s DJ Clusterfuck isn’t it?
Avalon: What gave it away?
Even the South Park DJ can enunciate.
Im in the process of extending my Vegas trip so I can rendezvous with my SuperStripper friends for the Final Four. Susan Wayward from Portland, Emily from Philly, DangerousDiva from Salt Lake City, even Bridgette is flying in from Puerto Rico! And of course Vegas local Daisy Delfina.
I’ve been mulling this for the past few days. I originally planned this trip a month ago to meet up with my friend Ian Dunross, who is in town for the CTIA Wireless Convention. I totally forgot about that NCAA Basketball Thingy. Guys, Gambling, Girls in Gstrings. It all adds up to a phenomenal exchange of cash.
….Much work to be done.
Tags: arizona, christie's cabaret, ncaa basketball, regular, strip club, stripper, Stripper Humor, vip