I actually heard a (um) stripper say to a patron last week.
“I’m an exotic dancer.” she corrected him.
I joke that I’m an “exotic clothing removal engineer” because I wear exotic clothing….and then I remove it for a fee.
However, I have never referred to myself as a “dancer.” Probably because I can’t dance. I’m a white girl from the suburbs. I grew up listening to REM, Steve Miller Band, Bon Jovi and Bruce Springsteen. Not exactly purveyors of the hottest dance tracks of the 80s.
I love watching the girls that do have rhythm. They dance their hearts out onstage. The ones with gymnastics backgrounds can work magic on the pole. I attempted pole tricks my first few months of dancing. I wore vinyl boots and learned how to flip upside down and leverage my bodyweight by putting the pole in the crook of my knee. Then I pulled my rhomboid and couldn’t look over my left shoulder for two weeks. Not conducive for safe driving in Los Angeles. Coupled with the permanent inner-thigh bruises, I decided it was not cost effective to beat my body up for a a few stage tips.
Lucky for me, rhythm, co-ordination, and uber-flexibility are not pre-requisites to become an exotic clothing removal engineer. All you have to do is wear exotic clothing, remove it and engage the bar patrons in entertaining conversation laced with sexual innuendo.
Now, whether or not an exotic clothing removal engineer has a financially successful career depends on a completely different subset of skills. I don’t get paid by how well I take my top off. I don’t get paid by how awesome I look onstage (Friday night my stage tips totalled $12 all night) I don’t get paid for how well I dance (thank god!)
I get paid by how well I negotiate a mutually beneficial deal with a patron. What is the difference between the stripper who averages $200/nite and the one that averages $500/nite? 40 Grand a year. Thats it. Its not like the SuperStripper banking upstairs in VIP is 2 1/2 times better at taking her top off than the one drowning her sorrows at the bar. She just has a better set of sales skills. Think about it.
Congrats to Diablo Cody the former stripper who won an Oscar last night. Although we have vastly different experiences and contrasting views on the strip club industry, I think it’s great that she is not hiding her sordid past as a (gasp!) stripper!
Tags: exotic dancer, strip club, stripper