10:30am: Wake up with blazing tension/dehydration headache. I didn’t drink enough water last night. I didn’t have a drop of alcohol, but 6 hours of walking and 48 oz of water isn’t enough. Take 2 Exedrin Sinus Headache pills and drink a bottle of water
12:30pm: Head still pounding. Vinnie rubs my temples and works out the knot in my SCM muscle. He’s itching to work on the pool deck he’s been building part-time since April 06. Oh, and the HOA gave us til the end of February because it’s current unfinished state is an “eyesore” to the community. Take 2 Exedrin Migraine
2:30pm: My head is still pounding. I knew working this many days in a row was going to backfire. I haven’t worked 5 days in a row since 2000 when I was 24. There’s a big difference between the energy level of 24 and 32. UGH! Just my luck… when it starts getting good…I get a headache. At least it’s not a migraine so I have some hope that I might be good to go by tonight. Vinnie comes in from building the deck and rubs my head again. Take 2 Advil.
4:30pm: OK, I’m feeling a little better. I get up and take a hot shower. Lean Cuisine Spicy Thai Chicken for dinner. Take 2 Aleve. I’ve got every available over the counter painkiller circulating my bloodstream…I think I just might make it in! Sit down and blog Day Three.
8pm: Crank up the Kid Rock. Catch VanHailstorm on Sirius 19 Buzzsaw. This is going to be a good night! I begin reciting my T. Harv Ecker Secrets of the Millionaire Mind prayer to the moneygods: I am open, I am willing, and I will graciously recieve everything that you send to me tonight. I know, totally hokey…
8:53pm: OK Mr Cooper, you get the extra $10 today. I stand upstairs and survey the scene. The Dom Room is already booked for the entire evening. The Kristal room is open until a party scheduled for 11. The Doofuses from Detroit are making it rain onstage by throwing money over the balcony. Crazy kids these days: they watch a lot of rap videos, like to throw dollar bills up in the air, and make us crawl around to pick it up. They got kicked out of CCP the last time they were in town.
9pm: Extravaganza! I’m excused from it because my stage set is next. Billy plays Kid Rock’s So Hot because it’s the closest thing to rap music I can stomach. It gets The Doofuses from Detroit approval so it rains on me. Not as much as the last girl who vigorously clapped her ass for 6 minutes…but she earned it. Now, I’m not saying that there’s no money in ass clapping…it’s just not my thing. I’m a white girl from the suburbs who grew up listening to Steve Miller Band and REM. I honestly don’t know how to do it! Hey..it takes all types to make the world go round…
10pm: Extravaganza! I sell my Christie’s sunglass case to Lars from Minnesota. He usually goes to the other Christie’s in Tempe, but “All of a sudden, girls started charging $20 a dance after 8pm.” So he left and came to CCP. Oh, well Lars good luck finding a dancer who will take her top off for you for $10. Stripper Economics 101: Why do a $10 dance when the buyers are bidding the price to $20 and up? Come back on a Tuesday in July, you’ll scoop up some great deals.
10:15pm A tall handsome boy grabs my hand and asks, “Are you busy? Can you dance for me?” I’d love to! So Remy leads me back to his table in the pit. He’s a bartender in San Francisco. He’d rather do a private dance upstairs than one in the middle of the pit with all his friends watching. Good, me too. He’s a Scorpio!
11pm: Extravaganza! I sell my Christie’s glow in the dark pen to Jerry from New Jersey. He knows exactly where Avalon, NJ is. Then I see Pat and Allie at their usual table. The three of us sit back and survey the madness. “Is that girl a porn star?” Allie asks me. Yep, Sophia Rossi and some other busty brunette were elbowing their way across the packed floor to the Kristal Room. They didn’t even work the floor. Now that’s marketing. Do a couple of movies. Set up a website with your schedule. Fans book the most expensive VIP room and all you have to do is show up. No they were not doing porn back there….keep reading.
12am: Extravaganza! I exit main stage left, walk back toward the North Bar and start scanning the main floor. It is crunch time. I see a few $20 bills floating overtop a table of twentysomething metrosexuals. $100 bill over that mid fortyish guy in a golf shirt. Remembering T.Harv Ecker I keep scanning. Where is he? Where is my generous man with a credit card? I lock eyes with a well dressed mid-fortyish white guy in a black silk Tommy Bahama shirt literally right in front of me!
“Hi. Can I buy your Tshirt?” Rick from Boston asks.
“I don’t know, just how bad do you want this 100% cotton Tshirt with Christie’s Cabaret emblazoned across the front?” I ask.
“Oh…REAL bad.” Rick says. Score.
12:15am I’m signed out in Executive VIP with Rick from Boston for the rest of the night. His friend was already back there with Mischa. Little did I know, Rick’s group had the room since 9pm, Rick was just waiting for the right girl to take back there. Executive VIP is right next to the Kristal Room. I see Sophia and her pornstar friend sitting with two starstruck guys in their mid twenties. They were clutching their autographed calendars. No orgy, no cameras, just business as usual. I wonder what their hourly rate is.
After a few dances, our champagne arrives. Sipping my glass of Dom, Rick and I chat a bit. He’s the President of some computer software company. Wife, 3 kids, never home, usually in NYC, San Fran, or Miami.
”So what’s your thing? Pot, Coke, Perc? I just took a Perc. Want one?” Rick asks.
“Percoset? Um, only if you want me to fall asleep in 9 minutes. I took that once after surgery. It knocks me out. I’m a fan of green tea though.” Well, at least he took something mellow. Maybe he’ll fall asleep and I can just sit here and eat cheese and crackers for the next two hours.
1 am The percoset has set in on Rick. This is when it starts to get weird. Rick apparently has a major Oedipus Complex. “Will you be my Mommy?” he asks.
I instantly have a flashback to a Utube video I saw yesterday. Any Slope of Hope readers know what’s coming.
So, since I had another hour to kill, I decided to ask Rick the same questions Tim Knight posed to us on his blog.
Me: Yes I’ll be your Mommy. But you have to tell me how did you feel when I walked in on you masturbating in your room yesterday?
Rick: Hhhhhhot
Me: Is that why you continued to masturbate while I stood there?
Rick: Yesssssssss (head leans way back, rolls side to side)
Me: Do you do that anywhere else?
Rick: In the locker room at school. I like when the other boys watch me.
Me: Anywhere else? (Meanwhile I’m struggling to maintain my composure. Thank GOD I watched that video. I never could have made this up on the spot!)
Rick: In your closet… (pause, head bobbing, beginning to sweat profusely) O-o-on your red dress. I….I….I need to go to the bathroom.
Rick quickly stands up and goes to the bathroom. Mischa bebops over “Where’s our cheese and crackers? I’m starving! We did order cheese didn’t we?”
1:45am Rick returns from the bathroom. Half of his party that was still out on the main floor is leaving. I had already collected my 2 hours in cash up front. Maybe he’ll cut out early and I can work the floor for the last half hour of the night. No such luck, he’s staying 10 minutes away at The Phoenician, so he instructed his driver to come back after dropping them off. He’s not sweating anymore. Maybe he forgot what we were talking about.
Rick: Mommy?
Me: Yes dear.
Rick: Why did you dress me up in little girls’ clothes?
Me: Because you asked me to (I hear DJ Billy announce 5 songs left! Get your table dances now! Ok 5 songs @ 3 minutes, thats just 15 more minutes of this) Do you still like to dress up in women’s clothes?
Rick: Yes. (He’s starting to sweat profusely again. Two more guys from his party came back with girls and sat on the other two couches.) Shhhhhh! Don’t let them hear us!
Me: Don’t worry Ricky, your secret is safe with Mommy. How about I do some lapdances so you look like everyone else. Is that ok?
Rick: (whispering) Yes mommy! Shhhhh!
2:15am Lights on. I walk back upstairs shaking my head. Did I really have this conversation? On the grand scheme of things, it could have been a lot worse. He wasn’t grabby, I didn’t dance much, I got paid the highest rate possible in cash. Gosh, I’ve never been so glad to be a plain-vanilla heterosexual in a healthy relationship. I definately couldn’t have handled Rick when I was an impressionable new dancer. And…its fascinating that I get paid to observe deviant human behavior without having to actually partake in it.
“How was your night?” Priscilla asks me.
“Unbelievable.” I made SuperStripper money in the 5 hours I was there.
Tags: champagne room, customer, gentlemen's club, how much money does a stripper make, money, porn stars, sales, strip club, stripper, superbowl, superbowl stripper, superstripper, vip