Sooooo….maybe Race Week is shaping up to be decent after all. I had a friend tell me last night (after seeing the purple tracksuit photo) “I forgot how chubby you had gotten last year.”
Yeah….thanks…lets all forget…
So last night began with Jarhead. I met Jarhead in late November 2004. I distinctly recall the night we met because it was the first night that the Phoenix PD began raiding the clubs and ticketing dancers for contact violations. What a complete waste of taxpayer’s money: Let’s give cops your taxdollars to go into strip clubs, order 2 beers, and get lapdances from strippers. The cops then purposely break the law by grabbing the entertainer’s boob to test her to see if she corrects them and moves their hands away. What a sham! So anyway, Jarhead and I were sitting upstairs in VIP while this valuable civic duty was being carried out downstairs on the main floor.
So last night Jarhead totally got me started out on the right foot! He got me halfway to my goal in the first hour and a half of the night. He also paid me a nice complement. “You sure do help my sex life with my wife.” I know a lot of couples feel that way: it doesn’t matter where you work up your appetite, as long as you come home to eat!
Towards the end of the night I met David from San Francisco. He is in town for the Cardinals/Lions game today. He and his buddies are devout football fans and pick a city every year to have a guys’ weekend of golf, football, and of course…strippers! So I did a few lapdances, and he was a talker…and I’m a talker, so the lapdance really morphed into me talking with my boobs pressed against his chest while I massaged his temples, jaw, traps and neck. Ironically this is what my lapdances usually consist of. I was there for about half an hour then I got called to main stage. He asked me how many dances was that….hmmmm….this is where it gets sticky and untactful strippers can create a confrontational situation.
“Well,” I said glancing at my watch “I’ve been here for half an hour, I did two dances, and then we started talking and I massaged your nect for 4, then I sat for two songs which I won’t count, and then I did 2 more….so how about eight?” It was actually 10 songs, but he seemed like the type who would tip anyway and it was a very pleasant conversation.
He kinda frowned, “You counted the songs that you were just sitting here talking to me?” he grumbled. Totally not the reaction I was expecting.
“No actually I didn’t,” I re-iterated “I worked for 6 counting the songs I massaged your sore shoulders from golf today, sat for two, danced for two. That equals ten, but I’m only counting 8.”
“Allright, here ya go.” he said handing me 3 bills. I thought it was only $60
I had to run onstage, the beginning of “Panama” was already blasting through the speakers. I ran up the back stairs, and in the light of the office I realized he had given me a hundred and two twenties. Good, my intuition was correct.
As I pranced around mainstage scanning the crowd I knew I had a decision to make. I could either a) take the overpayment and go hit up someone else when I was done with my stage set or b) go back and fix the situation. I hate when someone feels like I ripped them off, it certainly doesn’t stimulate business, so I chose b.
“You overpaid me!” I said cheerfully as I walked back over to him.
He started beaming and I knew I made the right choice. “Really? The last girl charged me $40 for two and gave me this cheap flask”
“Oh, ok. Yeah, that can be confusing…regular dances are only $10 on the main floor, but when we do a feature item the house makes us buy these flasks for $15. So on an item like this I charge $40 for the two dances to cover my overhead. Otherwise, my return would only be $5 per dance and I personally won’t dance topless for a stranger for Abe Lincoln…would you?”
“Oh, well that makes sense now.” Dave said. “Hey, my friend just went upstairs for a few private dances and I have some credit right?”
“Of course. I charge $20 a dance upstairs, does that sound fair to you?”
“Sure, lets do one, you keep the rest as a tip.”
“Deal”
Dave actually ended up staying for a few more songs, gave me a nice tip, and he’s coming in tonight after the football game.
Tags: champagne room, how do I make money as a stripper, nascar, phoenix, strip club, stripper, vip room